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Dear Elevator Riders

Why in the holly HELL would you want to squeeze your big body in with all 15 of us already on here. I HATE when the elevator is packed and that one person in the front says " Oh hey, we have room for you". No, NO THE FAK WE DO NOT! I'm already folder up in this corner like a fortune cookie ,with bodies touching my arms; and you want to add more people on here. Do you NOT see the sign that says " hey that's enough people on the elevator!!" Its right there!! It says "Minimum, 3 fat people, 2 medium fat people, and 4 skinny people can ride at the same time." Take that hamburger helper hand and put it back in this elevator or get the hell off. When you are breathing and you can see the person in front of you hair move, that enough people on this ride. Now all of you know we are in the death trap elevator anyway and you want to add more people to the ride down. Sweet baby Jesus, if you get me down safely I promise not to curse these people out when I get off. The elevator is just clunking down, the sweat is pouring down my face, and my stomach is hurting so bad I could vomit. Hello lady giving me the weird stare, I am 5 seconds away from giving you my magical finger. Oh that must've been your friend I suggested we leave on the other floor. You should've gotten off with him then! 
xoxoxoxo
the stairs never looked so good
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