Dear Mr. Elevator Man

I'm pretty sure we have went over this topic but it is FRESH in my spirit, so I am writing you lonely lovers again. I want you to pull out your pens and papers to take notes, because I'm SICK OF YOU! How do you let someone who continues to treat you like shat, only pays attention to you when whomever they are checking for isn't checking for them, run your name in the mud; BACK into your life. I am by far no relationship expert but some of you mofo's are just NOT GETTING IT. I don't think you ever will. It's so funny because, from whatever world you got a ride to from Future on his way to the Moon,this is morally ok. You even have  people on your planet living the same life as you. I mean, let the hunny cheat on me and it's A WRAP! Thanks for coming out! You all did great. ROLL THE CREDITS IN THIS MUTHA. But not only does this person cheat on you, but you blast them about it, but 1 month later its < closed captions : me and the boo; let them haters hate ...

Dear Mr. Handsie,  I am just trying to pay for my gas and keep it moving. I know that I have this head scarf wrapped around my face in a way that seems to turn you on ..................... but this little chicken right here wants you to place those hands BACK behind the counter. ARE YOU RUBBING THE SIDE OF MY HEAD?? WHY! OMG, your hand is running down my arm. Don't freak out, don't freak out ... Get your 4 wives having, gas station owning, wrinkle face hands OFF OF ME!!! I don't know what it is about me that makes you think that you can put that fragile hands on me but listen up Barney and Friends ..... that aint me! And why is the Sweet name of JESUS are you trying to take my dang scarf off to see my face!! Mr. Creepy Mac Creep A Lot SSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!! You would think me saying " Get your hands the F off of me" would be kind of harsh, but your smiling. 0.o Here's a tip, if you wanted to make me wife number how ever many, you could'...