Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Nina :  I haven't been out of this hotel since it happened. I miscarried. This is a bunch of words together because I can't seem to get my words together. I hate when people say, oh well you weren't that far along. Well I say FUCK YOU! 

Hello, my name is D and I am bisexual.  I told my mom and she cried.

What I'm not understanding is why you people , as in people that drive and talk on the phone, think that you can fully operate your cars. Now I am sitting behind your keke'n (laughing ) ass trying to turn and you have missed 2340872394871398 opportunities to turn!!! See the point in cutting across the gas station, is to short the time you have to sit at the light. Thank to you miss single mom with a daughter, cat, and dog; I have waited the entire length of the light! Then I had to blow my horn at you to go! Like come on ..... FACKING GO!!!!! As we are approaching the next light, you proceed to get off the phone and start adding makeup to your face. I just can't ................ I FN CAN NOT!!! So again, the light changes and I have to blow my horn at you. And let me tell you one damn thing, that little ass bird you keep throwing up at me is going to get your ass beat early this Wednesday morning umkay! You better Go Go Power Ranger and morf your ass on through these lights...

I had a long weekend. Sleep was NOT anywhere to be found. Yes, not anywhere. I don't want to see another paint brush, Swiffer sheet, dish rag, or human in my house for AT LEAST 2 weeks. Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad my home is put together and that my family/friends came down for the holiday. IT WAS JUST A LOT! So today, I'm annoyed. Wanna know why, well I'll tell you boo! Your so sweet for asking.

Dear D, You make my balls hurt and I don't even have any. Every time I get an email from you, I have to take a deep breath, take about 20 steps, come back to my computer and go from there. Here's my little advice for you, or whatever. Lamount : It's a setup. Let it go. Stop being around him. Clearly he is a REAL down-low man, and you already know how I feel about them. I can applaud you on not being like him in that way, but that's about all I can give you a round of applause on. And how could you let him almost ... I mean you just finished peeing .. ok I can't .. my stomach is starting to hurt. Nasty ass .... Mellow Yellow : He is going to push you out of this corner, because I'm not sure if it's a closet, one way or another. I'm not sure where you took the wrong turn with him, but he is UPSET. Only thing worst than an upset queen, is a person with all their groceries in their cart and their EBT card has $0. Gotta take all that shat back. That...

Backstory - D is still sleeping with the ex and the new girl ... the ex confronted the new girl .. he doesn't know how she found out. Thinks it's from IG. He doesn't understand why the new girl is mad because technically they aren't official. <insert eyeroll > 

Before we get into this letter, I just want to say that I personally do not condone the word Fag. I think it's a horrible word, and should never be used.  Also the language on this post is very uummm adult like. So you've been warned. Now lets get this show on the road shall we .... This week has to be try the FUCK out of D week. I can't win for losing. I try to get comfortable in my own skin and shit hits the fan. I shouldn't have fucked those two girls last week.

I'm tired. I am really tired of these guys trying me.  I went over to ol' girls house for dinner. I get there and she says her neighbor invited us for dinner. At this point, I'm already over here and hungry so I just decided to go. We go downstairs to Lamount's and I already know this is not about to go well. We sit down waiting for the "final touches" to be added to the food and I ask where his girl is ...... He replies " she was called in to work, so it's just us" . I'm ready to go Shanice. Like I am standing up like oh well we don't want to put you in a bind, we can go get something. This retarded ass girl says no, lets stay, he already cooked. If I could've dropped her ass right there on that floor, I would've. No I don't beat women but SHIT! Dinner starts and small talk happens, this slick ass man says :  Lamount : So did D tell you we knew each other? ME : 0_0 Her : Oh no, he didn't. How do you guys know each o...

Its Tuesday Tuesday TTTUUUUUEEEESSSDAY!! If you haven't seen Norbit, you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I have many of you guys asking me about more "personal" information about D.  SSSSOOOOOOOOO ..... Shanice,  This is so weird but here you go. My name is Demetrius, I was advised not to say my real name or she would take it out anyways. LOL. I am from Puerto Rico. I am black and Puerto Rican. I moved to Fort Lauderdale, FL when I was young. I go to school in LA( the state, not the city). I am double majoring in Social Work and Business Mgnt. I want to open my own social worker based company. I never noticed boys until I got to college. I barely noticed them until Lamount kept talking to me. You may think " oh he turned you" but I don't see it that way. Although we have never had sex, I still consider myself a bisexual. I do not want to marry a man. I want a wife and 3 kids. I don't think I will get to the point to have sex w...

AH-LLO! So the last entry I had for Demetrius that I emailed him back, I cursed him OUT! So instead of posting what I wrote him back, I am going to Red Insert my comments in this next email to me. For all the new readers : Hello, I'm ratchet, I barely spell check, I say tons of things wrong and I love the Lord. Lets get on with the show shall we ..... Shanice,  I'm not really sure how I feel about your last email. I know you mean well but sometimes I feel that you are harder on me than you should be. ( I'm not harder on you, I just want you to wake up and realize your going in circles. Remember I am not your personal friend. I'm not going to hold back because that's not what you come to me for. I still love you puddin!)  You keep saying make up your mind, but it's not that easy. ( I know that I push you hard to see what it is you want. This limbo that you are in, kills me because I just want you to be happy and comfortable.)  I do come to you for your hon...

Lemme' hear you say HHHEEEYYYYYY MISS SSSHHHHAAAANNNIIIIICCCCEEEEEEEE * give me some *    Here another RANDOMNESS post from me :) Tomorrow post is from D! It's a cliff hanger, so yeah, I will leave that to hold you over until Monday. So lets start shall we? Or as I use to say when I was writing letter, let me D             R                O                   P you a few lines.  1. People have opinions about everything but what they should be worrying about. Sometimes I feel that I do as well. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about anything you are doing. If it isn't causing you or them harm, keep on! Whether it's your relationship, your children, your job... whatever! I have people tell me everyday I should be married to my hunny but I am in a happy place. Our personal lives, hell your personal lives, is no ones business but ours/yours. Hal...

I've been missing, this I am aware of. Honestly, I have been doing, as you would say , the most. LOL. So I'm just going to tell it to you straight. I already know you are going to flip but shit that's why I write to you. Ok. so that night after the "breakup", I went out with the boys to lift my spirits. I met this girl. She was so bad. I mean mama was thick and brown, wavy shoulder length hair, a fucking skin tight white dress on. We chalked it up and long story short, I smashed that night. She cooked breakfast the next morning, and I smashed again. I was on another level high. She went home and we went out later that night. It was everything I needed to take my mind off of everything. I saw Mellow Yellow at the restaurant with some nigga. It's a local spot so I wasn't tripping, I knew people would see us. Plus I was hoping, as you call her, slut bucket was there to see me in all my glory. He was being a messy gay ass man and texting me while I was out wi...

Dear D,  Well MY GAWD .... you didn't have to wet me down with all that! You could've given me half the peppermint, like my Granny use to do in church and I would've been fine. But ooohhhhh no .. you just had to give me the whole piece of peppermint ... KNOWING GOOD DAMN WELL I was gone choke! Before I get to my part I just want to let you know the MEM community readers are HERE FOR YOU! I have been on conference calls, group texts, forwarded emails .. chile a bird came down and was like sssoooo tha fack is up with Mellow Yellow. So just know .. your strength cometh from these readers. :)  Now on to you ..... I mean I feel bad, but I don't feel bad. From day UNO I told you to leave that slut bucket, but you didn't listen. Ok slut bucket maybe a little harsh, but again .. this my shit .. you'll don't pay these bills. Now you all in your feelings " but shanice I love her " . Well that's all good and well but YOU were already trying to get ri...

This is going to be a little lengthy so I can get you'll caught up! I also want to send my condolences out to my lovely reader/friend Jennifer. She lost her father this weekend. Please send up a prayer for her and her family to help them through this time. I have not lost a parent so I do not understand the hurt she is going through but I pray that God keeps her in this time. I am DONE! Can you believe she cheated on ME? I have did nothing but be the best me I could be. ( Lets recap shall we .... Demetrius and his girlfriend do not live together. Lets just thank God for that already. He starts to feel bad about not really paying attention to her and gets the roommate to let him in so he can plan this special day. First off, ummm miss roommate, you gone get your butt kicked for letting folks in without my permission! Anywho back to the story ... he is going to set up her room with candles and things, and cook. While he is in her room setting things up he starts to find guy items....

I'm tired .... I know I know I haven't posted about MEM or D and I hear you all loud and clear. I am just not here for blogging right now. Probably because I have to piece together the emails to get an entire post from D but whatever .. Here is my randomness for today .. * HI Tonya ! * 1. This weather in Atlanta has been my emotions lately. I'm happy on the weekends and its 70 degrees out and its cold as SHAT during the week ... and I've been moody. I have decided to start doing the sunshine dance on Monday's and see if that works or whateva .... So if your in Atlanta and you see a professionally dressed black lady looking like she is harlem shaking .. just keep on driving .... I'm just calling the sun ...  2. Can you'll stop beating your kids in public and recording it? Like GAH DAMN you are signing yourself over to the police. Half of it IS CHILD ABUSE! You MF are crazy! I saw a father dragging his daughter by her hair .... nah shawty I'm moving ou...

From Demetrius I'm in red with my sidebars , no I'm not Jesus.  OMG you replied! Finally. I am so happy you wrote me back ( I don't know why hunny, I am just a regular girl.)  I have completely been to myself, in my shell, with all of this that is happening. I cannot stop thinking about this guy and my girl is seriously getting on my nerves. (Cause you need to leave her ass, your gay shit!) You asked me if I love her, and I do. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. (BINGO! That's what I said) No, I never dated her to cover up anything. I dated her because she is attractive, funny, smart and I liked her. Ha! I keep saying I "liked" her, but I still like her. I think I was in love with her once, but things got to comfortable. I just reply I love you back like a robot. Do you think this guy is just a phase with me? I have not text him but we have walked from class together and had small talk. It is so easy to talk to him. My girl saw us talking by th...

Dear Demetrius,  Thanks for emailing me, although I feel like I'm more of an outlet for you to express yourself, I will help as much as I can. Now let me just let yo ass know one damn thing, if ANY of my advice backfires, I don't have NO MONIES so don't be trying to sue me. You ass will get some old ass duck sauce and ketchup packets in my draw at home. Oh and some Taco Bell sauce packets too, although I wouldn't trust those.  Any who back to your letters chile, hunny that was A LOT! I applaud you for having the courage to even write me. Although you don't know me, I am honored to be the one you picked to talk to. NAH ON TO THE REAL STUFF ....  1. You need to figure out what you want. This guy has flipped your world upside down. I think you just need to come to terms that you are gay. Now again, I'm not gay, so I hope this isn't harsh, and I know it's not as easy and I am putting it. Own it! Yes you are a black man, and your bisexual. OWN IT! 2....