Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Happy Monday MEM!! Just a juice update. YA'LL .... yes I am kicking my country all the way in for this one .... the first week of juicing .......... SWEET MOTHER OF ABRAHAM !!!!! I was cranky, moody, HON-GRY, not hungry but HONGRY, sleepy and all the above. Even though I was having a meal, ya'll, I was even eating 80 cal veggie soup at lunch, I couldn't keep my eyes open, nor find the energy to give a shit! And on Day 2 ....... someone came down from the galaxy and put a green baby in my stomach  .... * starts shouting * and I gave birth for 35 minutes!!!!!!!! It was NOT PRETTY! Everyone kept saying " shanice, your body is just getting used to it, blah blah blah ." I wasn't listening. This week I am doing much better! I still cannot drink straight green juice without fruits because that shat is just nasty. I have energy today and wanted to lick the cup other than burn it for a change. Look at God! He is amazing!!! So anyone trying to juice let me tell you ...

Dear Mr On Looker,  I am just trying to stay healthy and eat my apple but YOU KIND SIR WON'T LET ME! You are all up in this window like you can taste the apple as I'm eating it. Why is this so interesting to you? Are Granny Smith apples your favorite? Would you like me to roll this window down and throw this at your face? I just want you to help me help you get the hell out of my face.  So Mr. Sir, while you are staring at me in my face, your light is green! I'm blowing at you to tell you that your light is green, not to wave. LIKE WTH! Why do I want to wave at you stranger danger? Now all the people behind you are looking at me in my car like we made an education connection. Hey guys!! I don't know this man!! We were not bus buddies on the Magic School Bus.  xoxoxoxo eating in public use to be so simply, but you rather make it hard