Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Over the last few days I have saw all types of dumb ass shit about letting a man cheat on you and staying with the man. One word for you : Women let me tell you something real quick ...... if he cheats on you once there is a 80 % chance he will cheat on you again. ESPECIALLY if you are NOT MARRIED! Well, I mean ... nevermind ... Don't be out here being a damn fool for a man that's buying you a MK watch as an "I'm sorry" ...... chile BYE! It is a simple choice a persons makes to stay faithful to ONE PERSON or not. If you do not have enough respect for me to simple let this "new pussy" go fine another dog to pounce, then why are we even in this relationship. Because trust me, let you have sex with another man. He will be on Facebook the next day talking about how bitches ain't shit, they don't want a good man, all women are hoes, I did everything for this bitch and she fucking DaeDae on me .. yeah girl .. he gone clown your ass. THEN when y...

On Saturday a 17 year old black teenage was gunned down in his grandmothers apartment complex. Google to read up on the story because I don't have the energy to lay it all out for you guys. I do want to say s/o to everyone on Twitter this Saturday for tweeting about it. This did not hit national news until Sunday, and even some outlets today. I recorded this video yesterday. I will be recording another video today with two of my sisters. I'm tired you'll. I'm so tired of these stories. I know they won't end anytime soon, but it doesn't hurt any less. This morning on my way to work, I cried as a I listened to Mike Brown's mother talk about her son. The pain, you can hear every emotion she has in her voice. No, I don't know this young man, but he is still apart of my culture. Again, I"m drained right now and a lot of things I have to say will be in the next video. Praying for comfort for the Brown Family and also my FB Family who lost their son...

So this week, I have one of my best friends Aneesah. I met her in 9th grade, when she told me my love liked me. I thought she was crazy, and I was right, but she is sweet as pie. LOL That's so country. She is very to the point. There is no second guessing what she is saying because trust me, you'll understand the first time she says it. I love her tons, and can't wait for you guys to read her advice. This readers letter is a little long but I PROMISE you'll be like WTFACK when you finish. Check out her advice below :

I'm tired. I am really tired of these guys trying me.  I went over to ol' girls house for dinner. I get there and she says her neighbor invited us for dinner. At this point, I'm already over here and hungry so I just decided to go. We go downstairs to Lamount's and I already know this is not about to go well. We sit down waiting for the "final touches" to be added to the food and I ask where his girl is ...... He replies " she was called in to work, so it's just us" . I'm ready to go Shanice. Like I am standing up like oh well we don't want to put you in a bind, we can go get something. This retarded ass girl says no, lets stay, he already cooked. If I could've dropped her ass right there on that floor, I would've. No I don't beat women but SHIT! Dinner starts and small talk happens, this slick ass man says :  Lamount : So did D tell you we knew each other? ME : 0_0 Her : Oh no, he didn't. How do you guys know each o...

............. So let me properly introduce myself. My name is HOOOOOOLLLLDDDDDDDD IT!  Let's start from the beginning, shall we? While waiting for the elevator, I get a light tap on my shoulder.  Me : Turns around .... Well hello there Stranger Danger! I thought I wouldn't see you until the new year. MEM : Morning Spit Fire! Can I borrow a minute of your time?  Me : Sure, get in. You know the Fed's watching. * goes to first floor*  MEM: Why? Me : Nevermind .. ( he killed the ENTIRE VIBE ) MEM : What's this your listening to? Me : Nothing, I just always put my headphones in because if I don't ... well * stares at MEM * people talk to me. So what's up, I've got less than 5 minutes.    MEM : I just wanted to say thank you.  Me : Your Wel- MEM : You didn't let me finish.  Me : 0.o oookkkkaayy MEM : I want to thank you for all your sound advice. Honestly, I wish I could clone you and date you mys...

Me : Hi, Can I have a Sausage Biscuit and a Hashbrown. That will be all. Worker : Ok so that's a Sausage Biscuit, Bacon and cheese Biscuit and a hashbrown. Would you like something to drink with that. Me : No, that's wrong. I want A sausage Biscuit, and 1 hashbrown. That's it. ( still in a good mood )  Worker : Ok so that's 2 Sausage Biscuits and 1 hashbrown. Does this complete your order. Me : ( over it at this point ) NO!! * leans out the window* I JUST WANT ONE, SINGLE SAUSAGE BISCUIT AND ONE ORDER OF HASHBROWN. ONE OF EACH. JUST ONE, UNO.  Worker : Ma'am please hold so that I can correct your older. Me : -__- you have GOTS to be kidding me Worker : Ma'am was that just a regular sausage biscuit? Me : Is there someone else in there to help you, because I'm not sure where we are missing the blue's clues. Worker : Excuse me? Me : Do you need me to pull up to the window? Worker : No ma'am. I have your uno sausage and uno ha...

Dear Mr. Elevator Man,  I just want to hug you right now. Like I'm sad, pissed and frustrated!! I've never been stood up but I know there are ways that people can prevent this. So I am going to leave you here and address pretty little miss ..................... Dear Ungrateful Piece of Ass,  YOU NO NO HOW TO USE PHONE?! Why would you stand someone up? Listen here you snot nose, wanna be bunny ranch worker, hamburger-helper serving, flat butt heifer!!!!!! You call when you can't make it! You send a bird, superman, those little things on despicable me, SOMETHING! Now I begged this damn man to take you out again, because let's face it hunny ...... YOU WERE NOT CUTTING IT! Then you <insert HARD curse word> it UP!!! Calm down Shanice . Did you see he's face? OOOOOFFFFF Course your "i shoot animals for fun hunting" ass didn't! So let me run down this ....... He called you earlier that morning to confirm ....... You said your going to be there ...

I WILL NOT SHARE A MAN! I don't see how women do this. I know you are thinking, what in the goose eggs is she talking about. Well I'll tell ya, thanks for asking boo! Mr Shiny Black, Akon, stated that no 1 woman can satisfy a man, and no one man can satisfy a woman. This girl's mama didn't raise no fool and I can smell BS from a mile away. Now everyone has their own beliefs and I respect that. BBBUUUTTTT listening to the Ricky Smiley morning show this morning, and people calling in agreeing with this ......... listen ya'll ....... I had to cut the radio off.  I'm not even going to get on all the points, I'm just going to GO. So keep up umkay! I'm not with that sharing shit. This lady said well as long as when he's with me when it's my time I don't care. GIRL WHET THE HELL!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! I'm not sure if you ladies of the world know this but we can get bacterial infection very quickly if we are not careful. So if girl #2 has been i...

I am ssssooooo tired of going out and seeing these children's heads looking like Helen Keller did their heads, while your swing your 20 inch beach blond body wave. I don't understand how you can come out of your house and your baby look like she played in a sand storm and you smiling at every man you see. GIRL WHET? When people know that you have children, they don't care what you look like if your child walking around with Albert Einstein sides. Is it so hard to do hair,and put your kids on clean clothes? OH MY SWEET SUGARY BROWN don't let me get on why your baby has a snort mustache going on!!!! I just need you parents to do better. Like a whole lot better. Like a thousand times a thousand times 6 more damn thousand better. So girl in the QT line, getting ready to pay for your whatever, while your child ponytail is in the mile high club ........................................ get back in that Ford Focus, return that It's Fashion outfit, clean your babies face, br...

So, I asked you guys  to send me anything you wanted and to also follow me on IG Remember ? Well this will be the section I answer you questions. Remember this is just my opinion, you may take whatever you want from it or leave it here on this page. If you agree or disagree comment below! Let's talk about it! Hi! I enjoy your blog and I was wondering how do you feel about cheating? I saw in one of your post MEM slept with two girls in the same month. Although they were never official, some people would say that he is kind of cheating on the first woman. What are your thoughts? Dear Cheated On (I know you didn't say you were but I like this as a title so go with me here umkay!) ,  I have very strong feeling about cheating. If MEM ever were to cheat on his actual girl, whenever he gets one, I would open up a full STORE of whoop ass. When you are in your teen years,just being a kid, not knowing this from that, I feel like that is the ONLY time you kinda get a pass. I mean...

Lets just say I have some hate mail going on in my inbox about this situation. Someone even suggested that I ask you guys to send me pictures to send to him. Listen, I can't even believe people are reading my blog, let alone hook up my stranger elevator ride friend with my stranger readers. LOL. I will keep this in mind. I will have to swing it some type of way because he doesn't know about this blog.  ANYWHO on to the good stuff : The Date!!! * que lighting and thunder*  He went to pick her up and SHE changed the plans. He was going to take her out to wine and dine her but she said NO SIR! I love her already. She invited him in where she had a full meal prepared, with wine and dessert. He was totally shocked. The meal was steak, salad, asparagus, homemade mash potatoes, and rolls. There was a cheese tray to start off with. Well isn't she fancy. If I can take how he was smiling as he was telling me the story, he had a great time. Did i mention he was standing outs...

Dear Cashier,  I am a woman, you are a woman, therefore I see what you are doing. I really don't want to curse you out in front of all these people, but that little hidden flirting thing your doing, I'M NOT HERE FOR IT . All that extra giggling and eye raping your doing to my man is going to make me Carrie your butt. I just don't understand why people test us girlfriends. I am NOT his sister, cousin, cool friend, or jump off. We are buying groceries and household good for the sake of your quick weave!!! I clearly just said do you have your card, or do I need to use mines, that should let you know. But still you ignore me, won't make eye contact with me, but if I reach over this counter and smack the shit out of you I bet you look at me then. No matter how many times you giggle and look at him girl he is not checking for you. He knows whats going on and he knows I'm crazy so therefor, DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK , and bag this shit up!  xoxoxox Crazy Bih in lane 5 ...

I HATE when people stare at me and YOU MA'AM can't seem to get enough of my face. Now at first I thought, oh maybe it's just me. OH but no girl, it's you! I really would like my face back, I mean, God did give it to ME! If there is something that you need from me , don't ask, because the answer is no. Let's just run down a few things before I end this letter to you umkay? 1. I like men, so if that's the way your boat is rocking .... I hope you can swim, because I'll knock that thing over! 2. I do not want to be your friend. I have ENOUGH. Your weird and VERY ratchet. Plus your hairstyle reminds me of an upside down smashed cupcake.  3. If you think I'm stuck up and your judging me ...... I am and keep up the good work. :)  4. You wear your club clothes to work ..... I mean ... I just .... But maybe ..... DAH IDK!  Until next time,  Please tell me if something is hanging out of my nose since your all up in my face

I really don't know why you are talking to me. Better yet flirting with me. For one : your motorcycle is cute but it looks like a 10 speed. You called it Vintage right? UMHM ....       Two : we have ridden this elevator in silence for about 2 months now, and NOW you want to talk. I really don't know what it is about me that makes people think I'm super friendly, because trust me I'M NOT. Telling me to hop on your bike since I have my riding boots on was ssooooo * slow claps* original. Now don't get me wrong you are HHHHHHAAAAAWWWWTTTTT, but I can't deal with my hunny, Mr.Elevator man, and YOU! Its just not that much of me to go around. Now listen tomorrow when we get back on this elevator, I want you to look at the numbers go down like you used to. None of that cute hair, nice blah blah blah, do you blah blah blah, my name is blah blah blah. NO! I started talking to one man and a blog as created. I do NOT need to add another one.  xoxoxoxo I charge $150...

Dear Mr Elevator Man,  Your parents seem to be a big piece of your "rushness" * not sure if thats a word but this is my blog so ....... * with getting married and having this big family RIGHT NOW. I don't think you are ready for that at all. I'm thinking of creating you a match.com profile and managing it. I still say you should just adopt a black child and name it Bamshika, and I will still shop for her and do her hair. BAHA! Listen, take my advice and chill out with the dating thing. For one you don't know how to date because every girl is going to say yes to you when they see you with your custom car and your "suit" talking about I'm an exec. SMH. I think our next encounter we are going to get off the elevator < insert oooohhhhhs here> and I'm going to give you step one to dating. SHUT UP! That's what you need to do from now on. You are the gold these women are digging for.  xoxoxo Your Magic City Twerk Team Match Maker  PS ...

Dear Pity Party For 1, Please build a bridge and get over it. Everyone goes through things, we all have failed at something, that doesn't mean get on social media and cry EVERY TREE HUMPING DAY! I met with the social media owners and we have decided if you can't calm it down some on the " oh life is so hard, where is the rope?" we are going to disable your account! FOREVER! So here is my advice for some of your most common issues I've seen : 1. If your babies father isn't shit ........ provide the best you can. Tell us will not change the fact. We will not be signing up to do daddy shifts with your child. 2. If you hate your job ....... GET ANOTHER ONE! That's really common sense. 3. If someone said something about you that was false .... either tell them about it, or let it go. I don't want to see anymore side jab status on FB when you live 5 miles from this person and you'll go to the same church on Sundays. 0.o  4. If your...