Dear Can I Have My Face Back

I HATE when people stare at me and YOU MA'AM can't seem to get enough of my face. Now at first I thought, oh maybe it's just me. OH but no girl, it's you! I really would like my face back, I mean, God did give it to ME! If there is something that you need from me , don't ask, because the answer is no. Let's just run down a few things before I end this letter to you umkay?

1. I like men, so if that's the way your boat is rocking .... I hope you can swim, because I'll knock that thing over!
2. I do not want to be your friend. I have ENOUGH. Your weird and VERY ratchet. Plus your hairstyle reminds me of an upside down smashed cupcake.
3. If you think I'm stuck up and your judging me ...... I am and keep up the good work. :)
4. You wear your club clothes to work ..... I mean ... I just .... But maybe ..... DAH IDK!

Until next time,

Please tell me if something is hanging out of my nose since your all up in my face

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Dear Mr. Elevator Man

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