Dear Mr. Elevator Man

So I had this whole blog written out in the shower about 30 minutes ago. For some strange reason I have been staring at this screen for 10 minutes with nothing to type. First let's talk about me, then we'll talk about you. Many of you do not follow me on social media but I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, still married, with a 20 month old. This second baby was NOT planned and honestly threw me into a world wind of emotions from day one when I found out. You can really prepare everything you need/want for your baby but still not be mentally ready. I, for one, am just now starting to get there. For the past few months I have been struggling with depression. I mean it was really bad. I didn't talk about it with anyone because honestly I did not want to hear any of the following : 1. You need to just go to church and pray about it. - FYI mental health is not something your pastor can scripture away. 2. You aren't the first person to have two babies back to back. - I ...

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Recently we started talking about moving in together and I brought up marriage. She brushed off the question and I really paid it no mind. As we started going to look at rental places, I wanted more rooms than she and when she asked me why I brought up future kids and marriage. She laughed at me and said who said I was going to marry you. Honestly this took me back and hurt my feelings. I guess she noticed it and tried to "please" me later that night. Yes it was great sex, but I was still mad about what she said. This is her way of "hoping I don't bring it up again." We were deciding on what place to pick and I asked her what did she think about getting married in the next year or so. We both are stable, great jobs and in our early 30s. She said she doesn't know if she wants to marry me. I asked her why and she couldn't give me an explanation. I thought about it over the weekend and that following Mon...

Hi guys! I wish to leave my name out of this for the protection of the other people in this story incase this goes viral. These days it seems anything might just go. My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. We recently got engaged Summer 2017. My fiancé has a 7 year old and although he says his baby mother is crazy, I have met her and think she is quite sane to me. My fiancé gets upset when she calls for things but honestly it's all for the betterment of their child. Recently her car broke down, she called to see if he could help her get it fixed and he said no. We had a really heated argument about this because he doesn't see how her car not being able to get fixed hurts their child more. He always falls back on the "she better call her man(which she doesn't have one) or she better call her parents). She was not able to get her car fixed and lost her job. Last month she called him crying because she was being evicted from her apartment and since her car h...

We are NOT gone argue today black people. Nah y'all know damn well why black people do not celebrate July 4th. But incase you don't, follow along below .... July 4,1776 - American Colonies declares independence  June 19,1865 - slaves were informed they were free According to my college drop out math .... that's 89 years of popping fireworks that black people didn't get to do. Now I'm not mad at anybody celebrating the 4th. I am and will FOR EVAH partake in the bbq's, spades games, firework popping festivities as long as I live. I just want black people on this day to stop getting upset when you wish another black person a "Happy 4th Of July" and they just look at your ass. BE CAUSE ... several people STILL have no idea what Juneteenth is and no one is barking up your tree about that. Hell that should be a mandatory paid holiday for ALL black folks hell.  So get your kids dressed in their red,white,and blue ( my baby has on coral ...

HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! I been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jump off. So the baby is OUT! The marriage has hit it's first year mark! NAW WHA GIRL! I have been asking myself that for that last week now. Today my little sweet baby is in his swing and mama has actually COOKED DINNER! Ya'll I done cookeded a meal! Like a meat and two sides type meal. I'm proud LOL! A few weeks ago I would be hoovering over him watching him sleep. Anywho - back to the question. What am I to do now that baby is out!?  GET TO THIS SHAMONEY IS WHAT!! Having my son didn't give me a surge of "I gotta get get iittt" (s/o to Jeezy) but it did give me a surge in a timeline. I have always said I want to buy my first house at this age, have this much done by this age and honestly all that moved up a few years now. It feels super weird getting back into business mode now with my son b/c quick jobs I used to do - I now need to find a reliable sitter that can be...

Danny, Straight to the point, I am in love with a stripper. This is dumb as hell but I love her. We are bumping heads because I do not want her to strip anymore. She thinks I'm ashamed of her but I just ain't trying to think about another nigga looking at my girl naked. We have only been dating a short amount of time but I feel like she can stop stripping and I will take care of her. She's 21 and I'm 33. I have my own house, two cars, and a very well paying job. I'm not a baller but I live well enough were she can pursue other dreams that she has. I've already told her if she continues to strip when the holidays come around, we will be over. I just need some advise on how to get her to stop stripping and let a real man take care of her. Broham, This is not an extremely hard question. My first thought is to ask you did you meet her in the strip club? But that's neither here nor there. What I will tell you is that you have to ultimately understand what ...

Right now at this very moment, my ears are bleeding from my niece high pitch- tone deaf singing .... I just wanted to let ya'll know that .... Yeah Yeah I'm not back but I'm posting today. Actually I have a lot of "draft" post that I could set free but I want to go back through and re write them. So let's just talk about me and my life on this here Saturday!! 1. The last week in March and the first week in April have been HELL!! I got a ticket and had an accident a smooth week apart from each other. Mind you - I haven't had either in 10 years. My soul cried out F THE PO PO .. No for real ... The police parked his motocycle between some trees on a side road and was standing at the edge of another road in all black flagging people down. -__- ... Bih this is not hide-n-seek!! Just know DPD ran off on the plug twice with all those people they pulled over that day. I hate sneaking shit like that. We not even gone talk about the accident. 2. I am 10...

Dear Shanice, My name is Amber and I am 20. I have been dating my husband since I was 16 and we have been married for 3 months. We have one child and I am pregnant now. Recently my husband and I bought a house and two new trucks. My husbands credit isn't so good so I put everything in my name and my husband gave me the down payments. My husband is a welder and he is 30 years old. I am a stay at home mom and I am in college to become a hair stylist. I want to open a salon one day. After we got married my husband started being very distant and working a lot of overtime. I don't see him a lot and when he is home he is always attached to his phone. The other day my cousin came over and showed me all these profiles of my husband on dating sites. He has a separate instagram, and facebook page from the one that I know of. I went through his phone and saw him texting girls his penis and girls sending him naked photos. He was taking these girls out and meeting up with them at hotels. ...

So listen, I am a very dramatic person. I have come to terms with this in 2016. I have some pretty crazy " So That Time I Thought I Was Going To Get Kidnapped " Stories ... let's hop into one umkay! I used to live in an apartment complex that had a back road. It was like the road my complex was on created it's own dead end, and then there was a road adjacent. Nobody really drove on this road much, and it was basically all trees on both sides. There were two or three businesses over there - although I never saw anyone actually going or coming from them mofos. So I used to jog back there. It was like two miles from my front door to the end of that street and back. Yaassss ah bih was jogging for real for real .. well most days - but that aint yo damn business shit! Ok so one day I hear these people laughing right. INSTANT PANIC! I told ya'll no one is back here. Like I'm already looking for random dogs and shit my exit plan was to get up a tree if a dog ...

Dear Shanice, How do you feel about dating a man in jail? My boyfriend of 1 years was sentenced for 5 years on a drug charge and I have mixed emotions. He proposed to me right before he was sentenced and I said yes. It's been about 6 months and I'm already having second thoughts. I have met this really nice guy at my job and he keeps asking me out on a date. My mom said I should leave my boyfriend alone and date around. That if I don't find anyone by the time he gets out then I should get back with him. Thanks. First off I just want ya'll to know I had to piece this letter together like a mutha. I'm not sure how old you are but stay in school! SHIT! Needless to say your FIANCE is locked up for 5 years and you want to know if you should stay with him. Why do women always gotta hold they new ass man down when he get locked up!? Honesty I think he just proposed to you so he could have someone to be obligated to come see him and put money on his books. Couldn...

So one of my goals for 2016 is to actually transform into my adult self. Yes I know I am an adult but my closet right now, doesn't really represent how I want to feel and look as adult Shanice. So I am starting a campaign for myself.  I want to push myself to do more with myself, network more, blog more, live more! I want to LIVE and not just wake up do business, and go back to sleep. I want to run my business(es) like Beyonce. Nah I don't really know how to do that but hey .. one thing you can't say is that she isn't always on her grind. Every day I want to be up by a certain time - working on my businesses. Business Slay with what I'm getting to here people!!! BUSINESS SLAY!!! I'm just out here trying to get these coins ok! Remember << the girl with no 9-5 over here.  I'm going to party like Rihanna. Nah I don't mean go to the club every weekend and so forth but in life in general I'm going to have a IDGAF attitude. I'm just g...

I was going to start back blogging at the top of the year - but thought I'd give one more before 2015 leaves. A little recap/encouragement, I guess that's what we can call this. In 2015 - I left my job. Like my real ass, 730-430, get paid every 1st & 15th, this is your set salary job. It's still pretty surreal - but yes I did. I started a business with my fiance catering. Scared shitless isn't even the beginning of what I felt. Read that here . I am still running that business right now. I have two other businesses that I started a few years ago and ............ well yeah that's it. Time management is a real issue for your girl. Like FRFR .. BUT I still operate them .... just not as often as I would like. So that's my goal for 2016 - all three need to bringing in more income than it is now. Did I mention it's 2:50am ,, and I have a real estate shoot in the morning? Ah well .. A lot of people ask me about starting a business. After I blank sta...

I don't even know how to start this blog off or if it'll even make sense, be grammatically correct but here we go .... A white teacher from my hometown, decided that he and his wife were going to dress up as Kanye and Kim West for Halloween. No Issue there. Look - I even got you some examples on how to do it : Now the issue with this "teachers outfit" is that .... he decide .. all on his own .. to paint his body brown. Yes he's entire body. His wife, who posted the photo online even stated " People thought he was a black man" - Direct quote. When I saw him .. these images flooded my mind ...  Now I know for some of you guys, who possibly are off the grid , you have never seen those photos. BUT every Halloween - for some strange reason - white people feel like "Yes we can pull out our black body paint and became a nigger for a day!!". My dear ... this is black face. No one gives a shit that is it Halloween, you don...

Two things that I know for sure will happen in life. You are born and you will die. Death .... I have had some rough dealing with death when it comes to family. My grandfather on my dad side, moved to TX and had a heart attack. It was a closed casket - and it didn't fully hit me until I was about 16 and I saw a man that looked just like him. I waved at the man and the man waved back. I LITERALLY was about to walk over to him. Then the flood gates opened and I cried a solid week in my room. He was my pen-pal, first person to put sugar on my popcorn -which my siblings and I do to this day , debate with me, and so forth. It just didn't seem real, because I didn't see him again. I didn't SEE him in the casket, but I knew he was in the casket. My grandmother on my dad side passed away from breast cancer and a tumor ( if i'm not mistaken ). I was there the entire ordeal. From her being mobile to just laying in the bed making noises. I was in the room when she passed. ...

So the other day I went to the public storage, because I needed a new spot to hide the bodies right? Well, as I am telling the lady who I am and get prepared to see the unit she tells me - yes this girl writing this right now - that it is raining and she isn't going out in the rain to show me the unit. Was that a run on sentence? Oh well ... Now let me set the scene for you umkay? It had been raining pretty much all day but at this time is wasn't. Still a little gloomy out but I was out there in gym shorts, a tshirt and head scarf. Although I am natural, bih I am NOT trying to detangle these curls back out from the raining righty - tighty on my head. So I say ummmm well isn't that your job to show me the unit? She goes well yes, but I'm not going out in the rain. At this point the entire fuck that I was giving her, is OUT THA DAWH. You are really sitting here in my face, thinking I am going to sign this paperwork and fuck around and get a storage room with Jeepers ...

So everyone knows that I am getting married next year. I am apart of #TeamPlussize, about 2 years now , and would like to enter into #teamthick draft before winter official comes. Hey Ya'll!!!  Same day as above, running tights.  I have lost 17 pounds and haven't been to the gym in a smooottthhhh 2 months. Well that ends today! Well tomorrow .. lol ... I have went to Sam's Club and got my green smoothie items, and paid up my membership. That leads me to what this blog is about ... Is you Fat or nah? In the black community, and among people that I know, we gain weight and it is what it is. We try to lose weight for about 3 weeks and when we have only dropped 3 pounds, we quit. WE become content with taking selfies from above our heads, heads tilted, and only from our chest up - when we are of a certain size. Now again, I'm not saying every "bigger person" does this, but most do. I am guilty myself. You get into this whole " Big Girls are sexy,...

Today I officially leave the corporate working world. LAWDDDD HELP ME!!! I went back and forth on whether I wanted to share this with others or not, and said hell why not! I'm not sharing er'thang - but - I can give you a little bit umkay!!  First let's get into this BEAT! That lash got my eye looking a little like it's off that purp but thats neither here nor there. :) I'm also really starting to embrace these big ass eyes of mine. BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT ... So today is my last day at my current job. I am leaving because my fiance started a business as well as helping with other people visions as well. No lie - a bih nervous as hell - but I am excited as shit! People at work have been asking me how I prepared myself to leave and truth be told I don't know how I did it. You want to plan everything and make sure everything is in place before you leave - but sometimes it doesn't happen that way. I was pushed into having to resign. LIT...

That's been my week. Come on in and let me get some things off my chest ....

Yes I am back at the strip club Stebie. LOL. I moved out of the hotel, gave back the car, went and got my own car and apartment. He was mad aa hell but I didn't care. You were right though, I was so caught up in that shit that I wouldn't see my left from my right. Now that I'm back at the club, it's new girls there that I have to put in check about my money and my regulars. It's not my problem when I came back they wanted me over them. My new thing now is girls.