Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Dear MEM,   I can't stop laughing. No I mean I am trying but the tears won't stop falling, and now I can't breathe. OK Ok I'm sorry, but I still don't understand how this happened. You were to cool to wear protection and look what happened to you! So let me get this right, the girl you met at Publix took you Horseback riding, and now your going to the hospital because the inside of your legs are raw. BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Listen, listen, listen, why on earth would you go bare back on a horse? Are you crazy! Well that I know the answer to but I mean I don't feel bad for you at all. I can see you out there in your polo riding boots, tight Levi jeans, crying like a BIATCH because your private hurts. SMH. So now your going to the doctor because it hurts when your pants rub against you. BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! No, no, listen, if you could see your face right now you would laugh too! Oh so your mad at me for laughing but n...

I'm pretty sure we have went over this topic but it is FRESH in my spirit, so I am writing you lonely lovers again. I want you to pull out your pens and papers to take notes, because I'm SICK OF YOU! How do you let someone who continues to treat you like shat, only pays attention to you when whomever they are checking for isn't checking for them, run your name in the mud; BACK into your life. I am by far no relationship expert but some of you mofo's are just NOT GETTING IT. I don't think you ever will. It's so funny because, from whatever world you got a ride to from Future on his way to the Moon,this is morally ok. You even have  people on your planet living the same life as you. I mean, let the hunny cheat on me and it's A WRAP! Thanks for coming out! You all did great. ROLL THE CREDITS IN THIS MUTHA. But not only does this person cheat on you, but you blast them about it, but 1 month later its < closed captions : me and the boo; let them haters hate ...

D e a r M E M ,  My head hurts ... I want you to shut up like right now. If I had to energy and height to Donkey Kong you right now ..... you'd be on the floor. I have ridden this stupid elevator twice up and down and now I'm standing by the break room trying to find a spoon to dig a tunnel away from you. It's so funny how you always try to convince me that THIS IDEA is the GRAND idea. Who do you think you talking to? Ok I understand you met this " heavenly angel " (your words not mine) at the QuikTrip gas station. Let's just stop rrriiigggghhhttttt there! Didn't I tell your crazy ass not to talk to anyone else! You just don't listen. My momma always said I hard head makes a soft ass and I have on flats today! I will call up B16 and have your ass put in the hole like Jake and Huck were! If your not watching scandal ... just leave this blog right now! Your a disgrace!  OK ... She's beautiful, nice, sweet, charming, blah blah .... Doofus you d...

I WILL NOT SHARE A MAN! I don't see how women do this. I know you are thinking, what in the goose eggs is she talking about. Well I'll tell ya, thanks for asking boo! Mr Shiny Black, Akon, stated that no 1 woman can satisfy a man, and no one man can satisfy a woman. This girl's mama didn't raise no fool and I can smell BS from a mile away. Now everyone has their own beliefs and I respect that. BBBUUUTTTT listening to the Ricky Smiley morning show this morning, and people calling in agreeing with this ......... listen ya'll ....... I had to cut the radio off.  I'm not even going to get on all the points, I'm just going to GO. So keep up umkay! I'm not with that sharing shit. This lady said well as long as when he's with me when it's my time I don't care. GIRL WHET THE HELL!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! I'm not sure if you ladies of the world know this but we can get bacterial infection very quickly if we are not careful. So if girl #2 has been i...

Dear Cashier,  I am a woman, you are a woman, therefore I see what you are doing. I really don't want to curse you out in front of all these people, but that little hidden flirting thing your doing, I'M NOT HERE FOR IT . All that extra giggling and eye raping your doing to my man is going to make me Carrie your butt. I just don't understand why people test us girlfriends. I am NOT his sister, cousin, cool friend, or jump off. We are buying groceries and household good for the sake of your quick weave!!! I clearly just said do you have your card, or do I need to use mines, that should let you know. But still you ignore me, won't make eye contact with me, but if I reach over this counter and smack the shit out of you I bet you look at me then. No matter how many times you giggle and look at him girl he is not checking for you. He knows whats going on and he knows I'm crazy so therefor, DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK , and bag this shit up!  xoxoxox Crazy Bih in lane 5 ...

Dear White People,  Let me tell you way to NOT get your ass dragged. This may offend some of my reader but as a African American Woman, I AM going to say something about this. You guys always wonder why you can't say this and why you can't do that around us without one of us popping off at you. Well look at the photo above and you will see. A MAN DIED!!!!!! Do you not understand that you cannot joke about something like that and think "oh no one is going to say anything because its a joke." Honey no one is laughing, NO ONE IS LAUGHING! If Trayvon was a white boy and someone black dressed up like him, you would be raising hell! This black face thing is so offensive to start with but this wound you guys are picking at is still fresh. I don't know how someone can wake up and say, oh I am going to be a dead black teenager for Halloween . But then again, I don't understand how someone can capture people,beat them and kill their families, rape them, HANG THEM , ...