Dear Mr. Elevator Man

I'm fresh into my marriage. Will be two years this year, but I have been with my now husband for 14 years. Lawd, that makes me feel old. Now I enjoy being married. LLLOOVVEEEE IT! But ummmmmrraaaahhhuuuhhhhh, let's talk about married people advice. I'm not saying "all married people" but I've notice that married people LLOOVVEEE to give you the  "I'm up here and your down there" advice. Or they give you the "right, holy" answer. Like bih I'll still give you a two piece! Tell me that I need to leave Jaquan ass alone because he only act right in the winter. Tell me what you would've told me 6 months ago before you got married. I am WORTH MORE! Don't hit me with a bible verse, don't hit me with an I'll pray for you, don't try to tell me this is in God's plan, don't tell me how to keep a man, or why my man ain't acting right... again YOU JUST GOT MARRIED LESS THAN 5 YEARS AGO! I know ya'll ...

HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! I been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jump off. So the baby is OUT! The marriage has hit it's first year mark! NAW WHA GIRL! I have been asking myself that for that last week now. Today my little sweet baby is in his swing and mama has actually COOKED DINNER! Ya'll I done cookeded a meal! Like a meat and two sides type meal. I'm proud LOL! A few weeks ago I would be hoovering over him watching him sleep. Anywho - back to the question. What am I to do now that baby is out!?  GET TO THIS SHAMONEY IS WHAT!! Having my son didn't give me a surge of "I gotta get get iittt" (s/o to Jeezy) but it did give me a surge in a timeline. I have always said I want to buy my first house at this age, have this much done by this age and honestly all that moved up a few years now. It feels super weird getting back into business mode now with my son b/c quick jobs I used to do - I now need to find a reliable sitter that can be...

I'm sick and shut in, so my blogger humor is short today. I also thought today was Sunday so yeah ... pray for me. The fiance fixed us dinner and any moment now I'll be in the bathroom ... I hope it's not the beginning of the flu ... But that is not why we are here ... we are here because  Lean in closely so I don't have to raise my voice umkay - my throat hurts really bad. WHO IN THE HELL DID THIS MATH! SPEAK UP! SPEAK THE HELL UP NAH!! Yes I know it says Philipe but I want to know before you "re-posted this " who actually did the math. Well let me tell you - at first glance I didn't do the math but I still knew this was wrong. I'm not sure what you did to get 4.33 million a piece but I would love for you to be my pizza delivery guy. I said ok maybe someone will correct these people posting the photo. Everybody can't be this dumb .... But they didn't. They shared it and commented how "evil" the world is. I know Beyonce I k...

So one of my goals for 2016 is to actually transform into my adult self. Yes I know I am an adult but my closet right now, doesn't really represent how I want to feel and look as adult Shanice. So I am starting a campaign for myself.  I want to push myself to do more with myself, network more, blog more, live more! I want to LIVE and not just wake up do business, and go back to sleep. I want to run my business(es) like Beyonce. Nah I don't really know how to do that but hey .. one thing you can't say is that she isn't always on her grind. Every day I want to be up by a certain time - working on my businesses. Business Slay with what I'm getting to here people!!! BUSINESS SLAY!!! I'm just out here trying to get these coins ok! Remember << the girl with no 9-5 over here.  I'm going to party like Rihanna. Nah I don't mean go to the club every weekend and so forth but in life in general I'm going to have a IDGAF attitude. I'm just g...

Happy New Year Lovely People!!!! Let's get into these wedding nightmares umkay!!!

I was going to start back blogging at the top of the year - but thought I'd give one more before 2015 leaves. A little recap/encouragement, I guess that's what we can call this. In 2015 - I left my job. Like my real ass, 730-430, get paid every 1st & 15th, this is your set salary job. It's still pretty surreal - but yes I did. I started a business with my fiance catering. Scared shitless isn't even the beginning of what I felt. Read that here . I am still running that business right now. I have two other businesses that I started a few years ago and ............ well yeah that's it. Time management is a real issue for your girl. Like FRFR .. BUT I still operate them .... just not as often as I would like. So that's my goal for 2016 - all three need to bringing in more income than it is now. Did I mention it's 2:50am ,, and I have a real estate shoot in the morning? Ah well .. A lot of people ask me about starting a business. After I blank sta...

First off let me say those lives lost in Paris - my condolence to their family. No one wants to lose a anyone in that manner. Now on to what this post is about .. I'm not changing my damn Facebook profile picture to show support to Paris.

I don't even know how to start this blog off or if it'll even make sense, be grammatically correct but here we go .... A white teacher from my hometown, decided that he and his wife were going to dress up as Kanye and Kim West for Halloween. No Issue there. Look - I even got you some examples on how to do it : Now the issue with this "teachers outfit" is that .... he decide .. all on his own .. to paint his body brown. Yes he's entire body. His wife, who posted the photo online even stated " People thought he was a black man" - Direct quote. When I saw him .. these images flooded my mind ...  Now I know for some of you guys, who possibly are off the grid , you have never seen those photos. BUT every Halloween - for some strange reason - white people feel like "Yes we can pull out our black body paint and became a nigger for a day!!". My dear ... this is black face. No one gives a shit that is it Halloween, you don...

So everyone knows that I am getting married next year. I am apart of #TeamPlussize, about 2 years now , and would like to enter into #teamthick draft before winter official comes. Hey Ya'll!!!  Same day as above, running tights.  I have lost 17 pounds and haven't been to the gym in a smooottthhhh 2 months. Well that ends today! Well tomorrow .. lol ... I have went to Sam's Club and got my green smoothie items, and paid up my membership. That leads me to what this blog is about ... Is you Fat or nah? In the black community, and among people that I know, we gain weight and it is what it is. We try to lose weight for about 3 weeks and when we have only dropped 3 pounds, we quit. WE become content with taking selfies from above our heads, heads tilted, and only from our chest up - when we are of a certain size. Now again, I'm not saying every "bigger person" does this, but most do. I am guilty myself. You get into this whole " Big Girls are sexy,...

Send me your reader letters at sbarrett3289@gmail.com   Dear Shanice,  I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year . Over the last past few months he has started to ask me things to do to him sexually. At first it was no problem but now I'm uncomfortable and concerned. In the heat of the moment one night, my guy asked me to stick a finger in he's butt. I was so thrown off but again we were making love so I did it. I didn't really think about it but it instantly turned him on, so it turned me on too. He asked me a few more times, and I did it. I just wrote it off to him being super freaky, because we gets it in. A month ago he asked me to add more fingers and I told him I didn't want too. He got a attitude and came before me and left my house. I was so shocked at how upset he got. I called him and told him I was uncomfortable doing that and he said he wanted me to stick 4 fingers in he's butt. If I really "loved" him, I would do it because it gets...

Heeellllloooo Ladies! HHEEELLLLLOOOO. How are ya'll doing toniigghhhtttt? FFFIINNEEE. Can I keep it rrrreeeaallllll? YYYYEESSS. And say what's on my mind? ... What cha'll know about that!!! THROWBIKE! 

I have seen the above question quite a few times over the last week so I thought, hey why not speak on it! Hello, my name is Shanice and I am a plate fixer.

Dear Danny, I have been seeing this guy for six months now and everything was fine until I Lost weight. Now every time I put something on he has to examine it and tell me what he likes or doesn't like or approve if I can wear or not. I have lost over hundred pounds in a year and enjoy showing off my new figure. I'm not that comfortable in my new body so I rarely wear anything that's mid drift but I do have a new love for tights. Now everywhere we go if a guy is looking at me he catches an attitude and tell me that I'm asking for the attention.

I'm in a shitty mood today so you have been warned. Let's get to this random post ...

ELLEEELLLOOOOO!!!!! I'm wondering where has the love gone?

I think Sunday's will be my hey let's talk about weight/what I'm eating/what I'm stressing about wedding spot. I don't really feel the " pressure " of blogging on Sunday's and I'm pretty sure no one will read this anyways. So let's see what I have to say this Sunday :)

Dear Shanice,  I started sleeping with my fiancee's sister about 2 months after we got engaged. We have always been cool, so it was never an issue for us to be alone with each other. She is buying a house and invited me to come along with her so she wouldn't be by herself with the Realtor. She bought a house that we both agreed on and to celebrate took me on a spa date. I cleared this with my fiancee and I headed to the hotel for my thank you spa day.

Now on to the real deal holy-field ... I am OVER CHURCH! Whew .. that feels really good to say. When I was younger and I went to church is not the same church that I see today. I first felt this struggle when I went off to college. The church I would go to would HARP on giving, and basically made me feel horrible for not being able to give.   I don't care that it is 10% of what I have, if I don't have enough to sustain my living situation, I'm not giving it . I would see students giving their LAST, when they knew their parents wouldn't be sending any money for another week or two, so that they could get a blessing. I saw these same students packing extra food up to sneak back to the dorms because they had no more money. Because they were counting on that "blessing" you promised them to come through when they have you their last $20. Yes Jesus only ask for 10% of that, but there is always a program that is asking for a lending hand.  I think at this point ...

YYYYAASSSSS ..... If you do not follow me on social media then you do not know bbbuuttttt I got ENGAGED YESTERDAY!!!!!! 

Dear slow rider, The fn police are wwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyyyy over there, with someone pulled over ..... SPEED UP!!! I don't understand why we have to play snail and tortoise with the pulled over police. The speed limit is 55, why sweet Lord biscuit butter ball baby Job, are we going 29. I'll let you in on a little secret ... HE CAN'T GET YOU IF YOU ARE GOING BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT. Now you got an attitude with me because I'm riding your ass. You right I'm riding you because all the other cars are ZOOMING pass us and you still over here driving Miss Daisy. Then when I do get around you, yo punk ass wanna speed up. -_- You kidding right? Just speed up!!!!! At least go 50!!! I'm not asking for much. I'm not, I'm not .. I P R'r O M I S E I'm  not being difficult. I just want to not ram your car into that ditch over there and watch it slam into a few of those trees because you are afraid that the police that already have someone pulled over, who is o...