Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Dear Mr. Handsie,  I am just trying to pay for my gas and keep it moving. I know that I have this head scarf wrapped around my face in a way that seems to turn you on ..................... but this little chicken right here wants you to place those hands BACK behind the counter. ARE YOU RUBBING THE SIDE OF MY HEAD?? WHY! OMG, your hand is running down my arm. Don't freak out, don't freak out ... Get your 4 wives having, gas station owning, wrinkle face hands OFF OF ME!!! I don't know what it is about me that makes you think that you can put that fragile hands on me but listen up Barney and Friends ..... that aint me! And why is the Sweet name of JESUS are you trying to take my dang scarf off to see my face!! Mr. Creepy Mac Creep A Lot SSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!! You would think me saying " Get your hands the F off of me" would be kind of harsh, but your smiling. 0.o Here's a tip, if you wanted to make me wife number how ever many, you could'...

Happy Monday all you awesome people!! Happy Veteran's Day to all of our solider serving now and that have served! You guys are much appreciated!  I have been asked by a few people * waves at Terri, hey girl!* about my Vi Shakes and if I am still on my weight lost mission. I am ....... slowly! LOL. I am no longer on the shakes, because * men scroll along, getting personal* it throws off my cycle. The soy in the shake makes it wwaaayyy longer and I am NOT here for it. Like, not at all, not tomorrow, not next week, not after I have children, NOT NEVER . My parents are on it and they are doing pretty well. My mom's was the same way, thank God it wasn't the menz I'm not ready , but she is down to one shake a day.  So I lost 15 pounds in two weeks, a little while back. I thought I was SO fine, I stopped working out. Chile ... that 15 pounds jump right back on my wide ass in just a few shorts weeks. I always say I'm not going to do another diet, I'm just going t...

Listen, I'm not sure why you are locking eyes with me in this conference meeting but it's freaking me out. I was told that it's a rule not to find your "pretty pretty" person while public speaking. Let's just say you failed!!!! I'm not sure if it's the big afro that I have going on today but Mr.Scary man I am NOT trying to be one of your many wives. Then you started saying my name ....... your flipping creepy. I just keep thinking I'm going to get trapped in the elevator with you and the lights are going to flicker and you'll be on top of me like white on rice. You like 6'5 and I'm just 5'3...... You will not be trying to MJ .... nevermind .... that just made my stomach hurt. Listen, I'm not interested. Those 30 second stares you can keep because I have never counted ceiling tiles so fast in my life!! xoxoxo There are 8 on each row