Skip to main content

Dear White Guy In Black Car, No Thanks

Dear Mr. Guy ....

So, yes we have the same car, different colors; I can see this too. You Say : you should give me your number ...  I mean how do you explain me, a white guy in a black challenger ... and you, a bombshell black woman in a white challenger ...
seems to me this was meant to happen .... BUT ( can we just thank God for the BUT ... OOOOHHHHH SHABABABABAB HOOOHOHOBABABSSHEHEHESHEHSHENAH! ) 
I just wanted to apologize for hitting the gas on you before we get started. First off, it's 7 am and I'm trying to get to the DMV before work. I need to keep my eyes on this traffic to know who I can get in front of to make my trip a little faster, unkay! You my kind sir .... well how can I put this, shit you just ugly. LMAO!! I entertain some men, because they are light on the eyes, until I break it that I'm taken. I just can't with you. I want to reach out this car and connect the dots with those zits. AND ARE THOSE BRACES WITH COLOR RUBBER-BANDS? Nope. GO AWAY! I wanna pour my breakfast shake on your face to see if those zits burn off. YUCK! So again, leave me alone! I thought you were lost, that is the ONLY reason I rolled my window down.

xoxox
NOT YOUR BLACK TROPHY

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!! ...

Dear MCM, I am a Husband

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Recently we started talking about moving in together and I brought up marriage. She brushed off the question and I really paid it no mind. As we started going to look at rental places, I wanted more rooms than she and when she asked me why I brought up future kids and marriage. She laughed at me and said who said I was going to marry you. Honestly this took me back and hurt my feelings. I guess she noticed it and tried to "please" me later that night. Yes it was great sex, but I was still mad about what she said. This is her way of "hoping I don't bring it up again." We were deciding on what place to pick and I asked her what did she think about getting married in the next year or so. We both are stable, great jobs and in our early 30s. She said she doesn't know if she wants to marry me. I asked her why and she couldn't give me an explanation. I thought about it over the weekend and that following Mon...

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out ...