Skip to main content

Stalking MEM ..... @ The Local Wal-Greens

I am CONVINCED you live close by me. Why do you keep popping up at MY STORES. I feel like a peeping Tom because you can't see me but I am staring directly at you. Are those pampers I see in that bag? Where the hell have you been? I need an update on this baby situation. And WHO IS THIS WOMAN YOU ARE HOLDING HANDS WITH!!!!  Ok, calm down Shanice, this is not your real patient. I have seen this woman somewhere before, but where? ...................................................... O ...................................M ................................ G .......................... It's the mothers friends daughter!!! Why are you holding hands with the MFD? Ugh! She stood you up and here you are buying pampers for a child that you have a 33% chance is yours and looking at Redbox movies. I better NOT see your ass on that elevator tomorrow because I am going to GRILL YOU! Now don't get me wrong, I did like MFD until she stood you up and that's just tacky. From the looks of what you guys are wearing .... someone got laid and I ain't talking Hawaii. Oh the next meeting we have is going to be ssssoooooooo interesting ..... 

xoxoxo

Oprah found my real daddy  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!! ...

Dear MCM, I am a Husband

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Recently we started talking about moving in together and I brought up marriage. She brushed off the question and I really paid it no mind. As we started going to look at rental places, I wanted more rooms than she and when she asked me why I brought up future kids and marriage. She laughed at me and said who said I was going to marry you. Honestly this took me back and hurt my feelings. I guess she noticed it and tried to "please" me later that night. Yes it was great sex, but I was still mad about what she said. This is her way of "hoping I don't bring it up again." We were deciding on what place to pick and I asked her what did she think about getting married in the next year or so. We both are stable, great jobs and in our early 30s. She said she doesn't know if she wants to marry me. I asked her why and she couldn't give me an explanation. I thought about it over the weekend and that following Mon...

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out ...