Skip to main content

Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Dear Mr. Elevator Man,

I am looking at your mouth move but I can't hear anything coming out. A classmate of mines told me that I should read 50 Shades of Gray and I would look at you differently. Well lets just say, I read a snippet of that book and that's why I'm staring at your weirdly. Whatever your talking about, I have no earthly idea.....................................................................................................................................................

Ok I totally just heard you say engagement. WHAT IN THE DOLPHIN LIPS are you talking about! * Cue rant from me* Look, I really need you to get it together. Whomever this girl you are still screwing , while I adjust his shirt, is not all that if she lets you come out the house like that. You just broke up with your gold digging ex and now you have fallen in love with a vajayjay! Because not once have you told me this girls name, what she looks like, what she does! All I know is that, in your words " she just takes all the stress away " with that stupid grin on your face. So, Tell me what's so special about this girl? You have 3 floors to do so!

He says nothing ...... So I slap him in the back of the head. LOL! I just hit you and I still don't know your name!

Get it together! And stop telling every girl what you do for work, it's not attracting what you really want. If it was we wouldn't be having these conversations where you are trying to convince yourself "she's the one".

xoxox
your personal match marker
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Check On Your Friends

So I had this whole blog written out in the shower about 30 minutes ago. For some strange reason I have been staring at this screen for 10 minutes with nothing to type. First let's talk about me, then we'll talk about you. Many of you do not follow me on social media but I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, still married, with a 20 month old. This second baby was NOT planned and honestly threw me into a world wind of emotions from day one when I found out. You can really prepare everything you need/want for your baby but still not be mentally ready. I, for one, am just now starting to get there. For the past few months I have been struggling with depression. I mean it was really bad. I didn't talk about it with anyone because honestly I did not want to hear any of the following : 1. You need to just go to church and pray about it. - FYI mental health is not something your pastor can scripture away. 2. You aren't the first person to have two babies back to back. - I ...
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!! ...
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out ...
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..