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Part II ..... What To Do Now?

Catch Part One

The Fear to open myself up to this lifestyle is just something that I don't think I can fully do. I have always wanted to get married to a woman and have children. It had never crossed my mind to be with a man. Now that's all I can think about is MEN! As I am writing this, I have saved the guys number in my phone, and have actually written a text. I want to send it. I REALLY want to send it. I can't because I keep hearing my girlfriends soft laughter at whatever she's watching on tv. The urge to tell her to get out so I can do my dirty work is over powering me. This isn't right. right? I still don't understand why I am writing you, but you seem like a very non judgmental person. Maybe it's because I don't know you, it's easy for me to talk to you. Maybe I should start a blog. Do you think I should call this guy? I mean as college students we are advise to explore. I don't know. I have erased the message, and I'm going to watch TV with the woman that has given me love that I don't deserve. 
So this is Demetrius back story. We have been chatting back and forth for a little while now. He has had me crying and pissed! I have reached out to a very good friend of mines that is gay to get his input and to make sure I don't set this man up for failure. Can you guys handle Demetrius and MEM? SHHHHIIITTTT!!! I need to get my degree for real! 

 xoxoxo
See you Monday! 
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