So I had this whole blog written out in the shower about 30 minutes ago. For some strange reason I have been staring at this screen for 10 minutes with nothing to type.
First let's talk about me, then we'll talk about you. Many of you do not follow me on social media but I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, still married, with a 20 month old. This second baby was NOT planned and honestly threw me into a world wind of emotions from day one when I found out. You can really prepare everything you need/want for your baby but still not be mentally ready. I, for one, am just now starting to get there. For the past few months I have been struggling with depression. I mean it was really bad. I didn't talk about it with anyone because honestly I did not want to hear any of the following :
1. You need to just go to church and pray about it.
- FYI mental health is not something your pastor can scripture away.
2. You aren't the first person to have two babies back to back.
- I totally get that but this is MY first time having babies back to back so let me deal please.
3. Ain't nothing wrong with you.
- Ummm I'm pretty sure it is.
I finally told my husband a few weeks ago and he has been my rock. I always knew I could talk to him but I already felt like a burden, so I kept my mouth shut. When I finally just told him everything he has been extra helpful & attentive of my moods. Whether I'm really having a good time or just putting on a front, homie has been on que with just the small things. Either way I'm getting control of my mental health, and if it starts going back down hill, I'm booking an appointment with a therapist.
Now on to you, or should I say the world. Over this past year I have seen so many people RIP'ing someone who has committed suicide. It is NOT easy out here for everyone. CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS! Strong friends, weak friends, lying friends, crying friends, friends always smiling, friends that don't talk about themselves much .. ALL YOUR FRIENDS! This goes for me as well. It's so many people that go to work EVERY DAY, and don't know what they are gonna eat that week. It's so many people that go to work EVERYDAY and don't know how they are gonna pay their light bill tomorrow. It's so many people that have no one to call on to help them. OOORR if they do have someone to call on, they give them this long lecture about taking care of their bills and handling their money. Meanwhile the "loaner" has no idea that this "lecture" isn't helping. Beating someone up who is already down DOESN'T HELP!! If someone ask you for something, if you have it to give,then just give it and save the lecture because you MIGHT be pushing them over the edge. Or don't give it ... in the end it is your coint!
People don't share their every move because, we don't want to be judged by others. Everyone has a "front". It's the social media "I am doing just fine" front that you put on so that no one knows when it's bad. We don't want our business all in the streets and now we have to battle everyone's opinion when we are already hard on ourselves. I know so many people with degrees working in call centers making nothing close to what they should be. I know people working two jobs with a side hustle and still need to borrow gas money on Wednesday to pay back on Friday. IT IS HARD OUT HERE! So check on your friends. Whether you know what is going on with them or not, CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS. A simple text of encouragement goes a LONG way. A simple 2 for $20 date to unload goes a lllllooooonnnggggg way.
xoxox
Mother of 2
First let's talk about me, then we'll talk about you. Many of you do not follow me on social media but I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, still married, with a 20 month old. This second baby was NOT planned and honestly threw me into a world wind of emotions from day one when I found out. You can really prepare everything you need/want for your baby but still not be mentally ready. I, for one, am just now starting to get there. For the past few months I have been struggling with depression. I mean it was really bad. I didn't talk about it with anyone because honestly I did not want to hear any of the following :
1. You need to just go to church and pray about it.
- FYI mental health is not something your pastor can scripture away.
2. You aren't the first person to have two babies back to back.
- I totally get that but this is MY first time having babies back to back so let me deal please.
3. Ain't nothing wrong with you.
- Ummm I'm pretty sure it is.
I finally told my husband a few weeks ago and he has been my rock. I always knew I could talk to him but I already felt like a burden, so I kept my mouth shut. When I finally just told him everything he has been extra helpful & attentive of my moods. Whether I'm really having a good time or just putting on a front, homie has been on que with just the small things. Either way I'm getting control of my mental health, and if it starts going back down hill, I'm booking an appointment with a therapist.
Now on to you, or should I say the world. Over this past year I have seen so many people RIP'ing someone who has committed suicide. It is NOT easy out here for everyone. CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS! Strong friends, weak friends, lying friends, crying friends, friends always smiling, friends that don't talk about themselves much .. ALL YOUR FRIENDS! This goes for me as well. It's so many people that go to work EVERY DAY, and don't know what they are gonna eat that week. It's so many people that go to work EVERYDAY and don't know how they are gonna pay their light bill tomorrow. It's so many people that have no one to call on to help them. OOORR if they do have someone to call on, they give them this long lecture about taking care of their bills and handling their money. Meanwhile the "loaner" has no idea that this "lecture" isn't helping. Beating someone up who is already down DOESN'T HELP!! If someone ask you for something, if you have it to give,then just give it and save the lecture because you MIGHT be pushing them over the edge. Or don't give it ... in the end it is your coint!
People don't share their every move because, we don't want to be judged by others. Everyone has a "front". It's the social media "I am doing just fine" front that you put on so that no one knows when it's bad. We don't want our business all in the streets and now we have to battle everyone's opinion when we are already hard on ourselves. I know so many people with degrees working in call centers making nothing close to what they should be. I know people working two jobs with a side hustle and still need to borrow gas money on Wednesday to pay back on Friday. IT IS HARD OUT HERE! So check on your friends. Whether you know what is going on with them or not, CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS. A simple text of encouragement goes a LONG way. A simple 2 for $20 date to unload goes a lllllooooonnnggggg way.
xoxox
Mother of 2
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