Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Before we get into this letter, I just want to say that I personally do not condone the word Fag. I think it's a horrible word, and should never be used.  Also the language on this post is very uummm adult like. So you've been warned. Now lets get this show on the road shall we .... This week has to be try the FUCK out of D week. I can't win for losing. I try to get comfortable in my own skin and shit hits the fan. I shouldn't have fucked those two girls last week.

Dear Shanice,  So basically me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 3 months ago. We run in the same circle, so one night after hanging out his best friend brought me back to the house because I was wasted. One thing lead to another and we had sex. Since then we have had sex every week. The problem is my ex and I still talk.

I'm tired. I am really tired of these guys trying me.  I went over to ol' girls house for dinner. I get there and she says her neighbor invited us for dinner. At this point, I'm already over here and hungry so I just decided to go. We go downstairs to Lamount's and I already know this is not about to go well. We sit down waiting for the "final touches" to be added to the food and I ask where his girl is ...... He replies " she was called in to work, so it's just us" . I'm ready to go Shanice. Like I am standing up like oh well we don't want to put you in a bind, we can go get something. This retarded ass girl says no, lets stay, he already cooked. If I could've dropped her ass right there on that floor, I would've. No I don't beat women but SHIT! Dinner starts and small talk happens, this slick ass man says :  Lamount : So did D tell you we knew each other? ME : 0_0 Her : Oh no, he didn't. How do you guys know each o

S o .... here we are again, you asking me for advise, me not giving a crap about the situation. < insert eye roll> Let's get this over with shall we? UMKAY! The saying is, once you go looking for trouble, you shall find it. Same thing in this situation, but you know what the difference is ...... most people know their "fiance's" back history. HA! So you go through her phone, see a few messages from guys you don't know. Well although they are not 100% innocent, there are really not that bad. Your issue is, you don't know who these people are, correct? Well if you would've taken the time to get to know your so called "fiance" you would know her ex boyfriends, family friends, guy next door who always like her, and so forth. BUT YOU DON'T! Why did you even go through her phone? That's so high school to me. If you can't trust someone, then you don't need to be with them. Now the really funny part is how you stalked her password

I'm having Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream chips, and a SunDrop for breakfast. My head is POUNDING, I'm cold, and my energy level is beyond low. I have to be at work at 730 each morning, and I didn't get up until 7, so you know I look like Stranger Danger today.  If you are my friend on FaceBook, then you know my apartment complex had a fire. It didn't affect my apartment or my boyfriends sister, but we could see it. We went out and gave milk to children and to comfort whomever we could. To sit there and watch someone whole life basically burn down, was very surreal. People are crying, children are walking around with one shoe on, and this fire continue to burn for over 3 hours. We had just got back from Alabama around midnight, and I was back up at 330 with this fire. So sleep was far in between what I had going on. Standing out there watching those flames, just took me to another place where all I could do/say was thank you God. This fire could've been in my apartm

I SWEAR today is piss Shanice off day. I have nothing to post about, but decided to just say hello to you all. I wonder who will say hello back? I find it funny how I get over 50 reads a day, but hardly anyone speaks. Well aren't you all a bunch of rude little shits. No, I didn't mean that. Well technically I did BUT I still love you. Please come back!!! Why is it that people don't read emails all the way through before they forward it on? Like HELL-FN-O ... this is not for me. If you would READ you would know, this is for YOU! SHIT!! I can't decide what I want for lunch. I'm hungry but not hungry. You catch my drift? I really just want some turtle icecream with oreos. OH-MY-GAWD!!! I would KILL for that right now. My job has the damn golf tournment playing and it's pissing me off. I don't know why, but every time I look up from my desk and see it ... RRREEEEDDDD comes over me. This man with this pony tail, and weird ass dance/stretch he does, it creeping

Dear Shanice,  I hope you are doing well, and I just wanted to let you know I live for your post. I need some advice and I don't feel comfortable talking to others about this because its very close to home. My name is Niyah, I'm 24 years old and pregnant. My baby father and I are no longer together because I caught him cheating with my cousin. Yes , my FIRST cousin. His phone had been going off like crazy when he was in the shower and I thought it was urgent. I told him and he said check it to see who it was. Lo and behold, it was my 19 year old cousin, saying she was late. I could not do anything but cry. He rushed out of the bathroom and I hit him in the face with my phone. He kept saying oh she is just joking she is just joking,so I called her. She told me they had been messing around for 3 months. Mind you, I'm 4 months pregnant. Now my cousin is very attractive and pretty easy if you get where I'm going, but why would you sleep with my cousin. Long story short, s

Yesterday I had my hunny take a photo of me and I had a break down. I instantly went from workout clothes on to in the bed crying. Yes I CRIED!! I have been working out since JAN!!! I pictured myself being way further than this. I know we see ourselves differently than other people see me, but when I looked at that picture I saw Winnie The Pooh. Right now I do NOT want to hear your " oh it gets better " CRAP! I want to go to the store and eat all the shit I haven't eaten because I have been trying to lost weight. It's so hard to be a black woman in this day and age because everyone wants you to look a certain way. I know that I will NEVER look that way, and I am fine with that. The bottom part of my body is damn near all muscle, its the top that does all that moving. What the hell I'm not fine with is this JUICY ASS FACE! So lets run down some shit I'm tired of hearing and seeing ... yes this will have LOTS of cussing ... 1. I'm tired of women's f

Its Tuesday Tuesday TTTUUUUUEEEESSSDAY!! If you haven't seen Norbit, you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I have many of you guys asking me about more "personal" information about D.  SSSSOOOOOOOOO ..... Shanice,  This is so weird but here you go. My name is Demetrius, I was advised not to say my real name or she would take it out anyways. LOL. I am from Puerto Rico. I am black and Puerto Rican. I moved to Fort Lauderdale, FL when I was young. I go to school in LA( the state, not the city). I am double majoring in Social Work and Business Mgnt. I want to open my own social worker based company. I never noticed boys until I got to college. I barely noticed them until Lamount kept talking to me. You may think " oh he turned you" but I don't see it that way. Although we have never had sex, I still consider myself a bisexual. I do not want to marry a man. I want a wife and 3 kids. I don't think I will get to the point to have sex w

Happy Monday lovelies!!! So Saturday I went on the Roswell Ghost Tour and it was EVERYTHING!   I had SO MUCH FUN! I know you'll are thinking, Shanice why did you take your scary ass on a Ghost Tour. Well no need for judgement geesh! I like to explore different things! We were running late because we had to stop and get flashlights. They were kind enough to wait on us.  So glad we got those because the dark and this lady ..... yeah this little 5'3 body will be missing. Any who back to the tour! Our guide was Jonathan Crooks and he was lovely to say the least. His stories where great and full of information. He was like your favorite uncle you don't see that often but when you do his stories are awesome! Yup, that's him.  I wasn't afraid he was freaky Jason's grandson ready to kill us for the $6 I had in my pocket. What a way to die, right?  Let me just say this before I go any further. I was NOT one looking to be face to face with a spirit. N

AH-LLO! So the last entry I had for Demetrius that I emailed him back, I cursed him OUT! So instead of posting what I wrote him back, I am going to Red Insert my comments in this next email to me. For all the new readers : Hello, I'm ratchet, I barely spell check, I say tons of things wrong and I love the Lord. Lets get on with the show shall we ..... Shanice,  I'm not really sure how I feel about your last email. I know you mean well but sometimes I feel that you are harder on me than you should be. ( I'm not harder on you, I just want you to wake up and realize your going in circles. Remember I am not your personal friend. I'm not going to hold back because that's not what you come to me for. I still love you puddin!)  You keep saying make up your mind, but it's not that easy. ( I know that I push you hard to see what it is you want. This limbo that you are in, kills me because I just want you to be happy and comfortable.)  I do come to you for your hon

Lemme' hear you say HHHEEEYYYYYY MISS SSSHHHHAAAANNNIIIIICCCCEEEEEEEE * give me some *    Here another RANDOMNESS post from me :) Tomorrow post is from D! It's a cliff hanger, so yeah, I will leave that to hold you over until Monday. So lets start shall we? Or as I use to say when I was writing letter, let me D             R                O                   P you a few lines.  1. People have opinions about everything but what they should be worrying about. Sometimes I feel that I do as well. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about anything you are doing. If it isn't causing you or them harm, keep on! Whether it's your relationship, your children, your job... whatever! I have people tell me everyday I should be married to my hunny but I am in a happy place. Our personal lives, hell your personal lives, is no ones business but ours/yours. Half the people trying to check you, don't even have someone to love, or want what you have. PLUS who is goi

Dear MEM,  Please stop following me around this store. Stop asking me how I feel about you and your "fiance" miscarrying. I don't care. Honestly. I don't care. But, since you refuse to leave me alone; take this little piece of advice, and 'let me 'lone! I guess it would be crazy for me to ask why you are having unprotected sex with an almost stranger? Meh. That's your baby bottle pop, so I guess that's a dumb question. How do I feel about this "miscarry"? I think it's GREAT! I keep telling you over and over again that you do not need a child. You think because you have the financial means to take care of a baby,equals you can have one. NO NO NO! I mean yes, technically you can have one but ummmrraaoohhhhh, your not to damn stable. Your mind is always all over the place and your "fiance", well we don't know where her mind is, hell I don't even remember the girls last name. When you have a child, you cannot pencil them i

I've been missing, this I am aware of. Honestly, I have been doing, as you would say , the most. LOL. So I'm just going to tell it to you straight. I already know you are going to flip but shit that's why I write to you. Ok. so that night after the "breakup", I went out with the boys to lift my spirits. I met this girl. She was so bad. I mean mama was thick and brown, wavy shoulder length hair, a fucking skin tight white dress on. We chalked it up and long story short, I smashed that night. She cooked breakfast the next morning, and I smashed again. I was on another level high. She went home and we went out later that night. It was everything I needed to take my mind off of everything. I saw Mellow Yellow at the restaurant with some nigga. It's a local spot so I wasn't tripping, I knew people would see us. Plus I was hoping, as you call her, slut bucket was there to see me in all my glory. He was being a messy gay ass man and texting me while I was out wi