Skip to main content

Dear MEM | Not the girl from QuikTrip

Dear MEM

My head hurts ... I want you to shut up like right now. If I had to energy and height to Donkey Kong you right now ..... you'd be on the floor. I have ridden this stupid elevator twice up and down and now I'm standing by the break room trying to find a spoon to dig a tunnel away from you. It's so funny how you always try to convince me that THIS IDEA is the GRAND idea. Who do you think you talking to? Ok I understand you met this " heavenly angel " (your words not mine) at the QuikTrip gas station. Let's just stop rrriiigggghhhttttt there! Didn't I tell your crazy ass not to talk to anyone else! You just don't listen. My momma always said I hard head makes a soft ass and I have on flats today! I will call up B16 and have your ass put in the hole like Jake and Huck were! If your not watching scandal ... just leave this blog right now! Your a disgrace!  OK ... She's beautiful, nice, sweet, charming, blah blah .... Doofus you don't even know this woman and you want to take her to your families Thanksgiving Dinner. Does she have kids? You don't know. Is she single/divorced/recently out of rehab for being a meth addict? You don't know. Does she even celebrate Thanksgiving? You don't know. Was she on an episode of Snapped and just got out the pen? You don't know. What's her last name and what does she do? oh oh I know the answer ............ YOU DON'T KNOW!!!!!! I just can't with you right now ...... you might as well get on Craigslist and find a date! At least we know there is a 50/50 chance you will get murdered. I know I know, Shanice you don't get it she's this and she's that .... but yet you haven't actually talked to her on the phone. Just texted! BBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! You want to take someone around your family that you don't even know if they can hold a conversation. Just no ma'am ........ I mean you can do what you want but " so how long have you guys known each other " question will go like this " oh like 3 days. We met at the QuikTrip "    -_-    Your mother will be so proud. 

Do whatever it is you want ..... I strongly suggest desserts and drinks should be your date this year. And next year ... ya'know until you get your dating wings back. Or Jesus comes .... I mean we are in no hurry here ... 

xoxoxoxo

The Yellow Power Ranger when she was Black working the donation spot at Wal-Mart

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If It Were You, Would You Be Proud

I don't really know how to start this post, but ya'll rock with me so just let me have a moment. I love to blog but I am having time management issues with everything going on in my life. It doesn't make me money so it kind of goes on the back burner even though I love to do it. My small home town had a double homicide yesterday. I'm not listing names or locations because I respect the privacy of everyone in that situation. With a sad heart, my mind began to race with thoughts of "if this happened to me, have I lived the life I wanted?" Because it can happened to any of us. I live in Stone Mountain, GA and although my block is very quiet, little to no children on the block, just a few weeks ago my husband and I came home to a road full with police, fire department trucks, ambulance vans and cars everywhere. We still don't know what happened down there. I work for myself. My husband and I started a few businesses together and each of them has there se

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!!

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out