Dear MCM, I am a Husband

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Recently we started talking about moving in together and I brought up marriage. She brushed off the question and I really paid it no mind. As we started going to look at rental places, I wanted more rooms than she and when she asked me why I brought up future kids and marriage. She laughed at me and said who said I was going to marry you. Honestly this took me back and hurt my feelings. I guess she noticed it and tried to "please" me later that night. Yes it was great sex, but I was still mad about what she said. This is her way of "hoping I don't bring it up again."

We were deciding on what place to pick and I asked her what did she think about getting married in the next year or so. We both are stable, great jobs and in our early 30s. She said she doesn't know if she wants to marry me. I asked her why and she couldn't give me an explanation. I thought about it over the weekend and that following Monday told her it was over. I express to her that I was looking to propose within the next month or so but it seems like she has a lot to figure out and I'm not included. I did not sign the lease and she stormed out.

Over the next week she would call me and text me long confusing messages about how she was sorry and we should talk and work it out but I don't have anything to say. Before the conversation was over on that Monday I asked her what I could do to be better for her to get to marriage and she had nothing to say. I am somebodies husband and I don't have time to waste. I want to find my wife and start a family. My family is saying give her another chance but I don't want to. Thoughts and advice from another brother would be great. I didn't technically propose but I damn sure wasn't after that.

Thanks.

What's good kid. First I wanna say, that I don't wanna make this a long response. So I will start off by saying I think you did the right thing in the moment. Having realistic standards and expectations is something a lot of people don't have. You had goals that you want to move towards. And realizing when those goals might not happen is devastating BUT knowing when it's over will eventually lift a weight off your shoulders. Now, saying some real shit, don't cut it off all the way just yet. People are people and just like men, women can sometime have commitment issues also. She can not know how to react to these situations because she's never been in them or THOUGHT she would ever be. She could be afraid to respond OR she could just not want to do it. And if she don't then I say so what muthafucka Your hurt right now and you don't want to make a big decision through emotions, so hopefully you have cooled down some and can talk to her now. Y'all have been together to not be give each other the opportunity to explain yourself. Because in a marriage(if that's what you want) there are going to be hard times were your going to have to explain and talk things out. So I say hit her back, y'all meet somewhere to talk, and you'll know where to go from there. Make sure your open and y'all keep it 100. You sound like a good dude and you know what you want. Don't let anybody hold you back from what you think you deserve in life. I could say so much more but I'll end it here. Hopefully it works out. Stay strong and keep ya eye on the prize playa!!