So listen, I am a very dramatic person. I have come to terms with this in 2016. I have some pretty crazy " So That Time I Thought I Was Going To Get Kidnapped " Stories ... let's hop into one umkay!
I used to live in an apartment complex that had a back road. It was like the road my complex was on created it's own dead end, and then there was a road adjacent. Nobody really drove on this road much, and it was basically all trees on both sides. There were two or three businesses over there - although I never saw anyone actually going or coming from them mofos.
So I used to jog back there. It was like two miles from my front door to the end of that street and back. Yaassss ah bih was jogging for real for real
.. well most days - but that aint yo damn business shit! Ok so one day I hear these people laughing right. INSTANT PANIC! I told ya'll no one is back here. Like I'm already looking for random dogs and shitmy exit plan was to get up a tree if a dog tried to get me umhm .. so people laughing that I can't see scares a playa. I see this man on this dirt bike right in front of me, as I was turning the curb, but then he disappears into the forest. I STOPPED RIGHT THE FUCK THERE. Where this nigga go? I'm looking all in the forest and I don't see him no more. So I jog a lil' mo' and I hear laughing again, but this time it's a truck - like F250 - of white boys riding with their dirt bikes ..... I think I pee'd a lil bit when I saw them. They turn off into one of the little companies or whatever and I'm like
Dear Jesus, please don't let them kill my black ass. Please Jesus. I don't want my momma to be looking for my body or have to have a closed casket furn' because they done tied me to the back of their dirt bikes and drug my ass all through these wilder lands father. Yes wilder lands.
So I say I'm going to go to the top of this hill then I'm turning around and going back home umkay. Bitch we are not dying today from the racist ass white boys. Mind you I can still hear them laughing but I still haven't figured out where they are. BBBIIHHH I get to the top the hill and one shots out on his bike RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. HAND DOWN MAN DOWN. I DIED A LITTLE RIGHT THERE. I instantly collapse because you can't tell me that this man just didn't shoot me in the chest and getting ready to rape me. I was already getting ready to bag up my clothes and tell Benson what happened to my body. I remembered not to shower so they can get his fluids off me. I was also gone dig my nails in they skin so I could some dna like that. Oh we was gone find these SOB!
So as I am getting up off the ground - because I clearly done had an entire melt down - the man comes back. I got a blade my mama bought me in my bra - so I'm like ... I'm going to cut this mutha fucka up for all my ancestors! Trying to kidnap and rape me bitch! Trying to get you some black cootie bitch! Nah not today! I will cut yo ass and run like hell hoping those other klan members don't come for me because I can't really run that fast. Lawd how I'm gone example this! Ok Ok when I cut him, I just need to run so none of my DNA get on him so they can link it to me. FUCK my DNA in the system from when I work that federal job. OMG OMG I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!
So the guy comes back and is like OMG are you ok - I didn't even see you there. Are you hurt should I call someone? And I'm just looking at this mutha fucka like - Not today Mister Raper Man NOT TA DAH! He is like hello - ma'am - hellooooo. Then I look over and his little posse are popping up out the forrest on their dirt bikes .... I just took off running back home. LOL!!!!! I didn't say shit .. I just ran like a mutha fucka ya'll ....
I just kept thinking I know your legs hurt but bitch if you stop they gone kill yo ass. I got to my stop sign and that little asshole was waiting on me at the stop sign, with his friends. LMAO!! He asked me was I ok and I said yes and kept it pushing.
I saw them every day after that in the summer time in the forest riding dirt bikes. They were from the neighborhood next to my apartment complex and they made a trail in there. They waved at me from then on out ... but I always kept that blade in case one of them wanted to act up!
Peace and Love
I used to live in an apartment complex that had a back road. It was like the road my complex was on created it's own dead end, and then there was a road adjacent. Nobody really drove on this road much, and it was basically all trees on both sides. There were two or three businesses over there - although I never saw anyone actually going or coming from them mofos.
So I used to jog back there. It was like two miles from my front door to the end of that street and back. Yaassss ah bih was jogging for real for real
.. well most days - but that aint yo damn business shit! Ok so one day I hear these people laughing right. INSTANT PANIC! I told ya'll no one is back here. Like I'm already looking for random dogs and shit
Dear Jesus, please don't let them kill my black ass. Please Jesus. I don't want my momma to be looking for my body or have to have a closed casket furn' because they done tied me to the back of their dirt bikes and drug my ass all through these wilder lands father. Yes wilder lands.
So as I am getting up off the ground - because I clearly done had an entire melt down - the man comes back. I got a blade my mama bought me in my bra - so I'm like ... I'm going to cut this mutha fucka up for all my ancestors! Trying to kidnap and rape me bitch! Trying to get you some black cootie bitch! Nah not today! I will cut yo ass and run like hell hoping those other klan members don't come for me because I can't really run that fast. Lawd how I'm gone example this! Ok Ok when I cut him, I just need to run so none of my DNA get on him so they can link it to me. FUCK my DNA in the system from when I work that federal job. OMG OMG I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!
So the guy comes back and is like OMG are you ok - I didn't even see you there. Are you hurt should I call someone? And I'm just looking at this mutha fucka like - Not today Mister Raper Man NOT TA DAH! He is like hello - ma'am - hellooooo. Then I look over and his little posse are popping up out the forrest on their dirt bikes .... I just took off running back home. LOL!!!!! I didn't say shit .. I just ran like a mutha fucka ya'll ....
I just kept thinking I know your legs hurt but bitch if you stop they gone kill yo ass. I got to my stop sign and that little asshole was waiting on me at the stop sign, with his friends. LMAO!! He asked me was I ok and I said yes and kept it pushing.
I saw them every day after that in the summer time in the forest riding dirt bikes. They were from the neighborhood next to my apartment complex and they made a trail in there. They waved at me from then on out ... but I always kept that blade in case one of them wanted to act up!
Peace and Love
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