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Dear Mr Elevator Man, Did You Say Break Baby?

I knew this was going to be a long conversation because you bought me coffee. I really have the feeling that you followed me to Target, from work (it's right across the street) so we could chat. Honestly, do you have any friends? Like for real friends? If I'm your only friend, I would like to be cut a check because bbbbbaaaaaaayyyyyybbbbbbbaaaaaaeeeeeee you come with issues and you don't listen. So now you could possible have a break baby?


I'm still confused on how you can take a break from your fiance? Isn't that something you do before you even get engaged? I understand that you are upset because she kept meeting with Jake from state farm, but you should have asked her who he was when I told you to. He could be ANYBODY! He'll he might be to her what I am to you. I just refuse to even give you my phone number, or real name.  You let this man, that miscarry, and living separately boil into this big argument that didn't have to be. Now you done went and fucked the girl from the QT!!! Where is my blood pressure medicine?

Listen to me and listen close because I still need to find what I came in here for, umkay?!

First off let me start off my saying WHY DO YOU NOT USE CONDOMS!! Are you a idiot or just a fucking idiot? This woman would have and a-z std, I mean you did meet her at a gas station. Not saying nasty hoe's go to gas stations to get mean, I just wouldn't jump in the bed with the trick on pump 5; putting $15 of 87 in her Civic.

Go to the store and buy 2 pregnancy test and take them to the girl house. Make her take them in front of you. Like don't watch her pee, but be there while she take them and make her show you the test. I mean for all we know she might just be trying to pull the pregnancy card to keep you around. If it is negative, give her a chocolate covered fruit basket and tell her you will talk to her soon. NEVER CALL BACK!!! Like ever .. like not even when Jesus comes back and gives you a heaven iphone version 546831032657 ... just no.

If she is pregnant, set the a doctor appointment and GO! Make sure this is your baby. Fuck around and she 3 months pregnant and you just hit 1 month ago. Nope, Nope, won't get this child support up off us!! You also need to calm down because YOU ARE STILL ENGAGED!! Make up your mind. Do you really want to be with this woman or not. From listening to you, that baby really brought you all together but now things are slowly falling apart.

If it is so easy for you to slip back into someone else's bed just 2 days after your "break" started, I don't think you are ready.

xoxoxo

New Year, Same Shhhh

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