Personal battles are the worst. I clocked out of social media about a month ago, other than a status on FB here and there, because I needed to find me. I was unhappy with life due to some decisions I have made, and I needed to start taking responsibility for those things and get back to my happiness. As I am on this journey back to my original self, I want to talk about responsibility. Why can't we take responsibility for our actions and live with that? In this day and age people lean on others so damn much that they forget that this matter that someone is helping you with is your responsibility. Everyday I see this. Then these same people have the nerve to get upset with the helping hand says, " hey, I have to take my hand back now because it's not the same color as the other part of my body and it's creeping me out." Well what am I suppose to do, says the helpless. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PULL YOUR F'N SHOELACES UP AND BE A GROWN UP! If you can't hold down a job, a place of your own, a relationship, an automobile, a plant ; your ass need to take a look in the mirror and see what is wrong with you. We think that we deserve so much more than what we have. but if we just step back and take a look at the steps we took to get us here ... chile ... MAYBE we would see that if we stopped trying to rent 5 bedroom houses when you can only afford a 2 bedroom apartment, or buying a brand new 2015 car when you can only afford a bike, we would not be in this situation.
I had to ask myself, what steps did you take to get to this unhappiness? It was my fault. I let things get to a place that I didn't want. You know why you don't have any money? Because YOU are spending more than you have. You are living a lifestyle that you want, but not that you can afford. Should you be making more money? We all should be but that doesn't mean we are living a champagne lifestyle on a 211 malt liquor budget. Then you are back to reaching out to that helping hand to lift you up.
For me, I know where I made my wrong turn and I am backtracking to get to my destination. Here are some things I plan on doing or am doing and maybe you can use these too.
1. Leave the helping hand alone. Now I don't have a helping hand, just my mama. LOL. No seriously, I don't lean on anyone to help me do or get anything. Sit down and look at everything someone else has a hand on with helping you in your life, and remove it. This is called taking responsibility. <insert claps> You may struggle for a while in the beginning but the end results are all your doing.
2. Budget. Stop making a budget if you are not going to use it. Stop making a budget if you are not going to be left over with any "in case of fire" money. Even if you only have $40 left over in your check. You need to put $20 up. Don't let your well run dry because you'll be back to number 1 and we are trying to stay away from that hand.
3. Say it with me now ... this is my fault, and I will fix it. Regardless of what you are having an issue with, we have to fully understand that we have some fault in things that go wrong in our lives. The husbands we pick, the father of your children, being broke all the time with a job, how people talk to us, what people do to us; we have a hand in this. It's time to take some responsibility for these things so we can change them.
4. Love me for me. Yes, this is about responsibility but I also have to love me. I have to love the faults that got m to this place. I have to love my laziness, forgetfulness, moodiness to acknowledge these things as the main reasons I am where I am today. When you fully love yourself, it doesn't matter what other people say about your situation. Which is a main reason why most people don't take responsibility for things because they don't want such and such in their business. You can say YES, I rented a home I couldn't afford and got put out. Yes I spend more money then I should and ask other people for some time after time because I don't budget correctly. Yes, I trusted this person with my heart and soul and (s)he left me with a child that I care for alone that I need help with. Yes, my car has been taken back by the bank a few times but I am learning to deal with this. It was my fault, and my end results are going to be that much greater because I know some of this, if not all, is my fault, I'm not shifting the blame on anyone and I WILL FIX IT.
So as of today, I am removing hands off me ( which I don't have any but still) and removing my hand from others. At my age, I have no time for set backs and downfalls because I refuse to live my truth. You can still enjoy life on a tight budget, you can still enjoy life as a single parent, you can still enjoy life alone, it's your life so ENJOY IT! But take responsibility for the things you did in your life that has you in the situation you are in right now.
xoxoxo
Shanice :)
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