Dear Shanice,
My name is Brittany and I am an 18 year old college student. I started college at the age of 17. During the summer, I came back home and my mother got me a job working for the churches summer camp. I was supervised by our youth director. Now I have always thought my youth director was very attractive but he was engaged and I knew I wasn't his type. He had been my youth director for two years.
One day I was cleaning the kitchen and he came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and said he just wanted to thank me for helping him. I told him, no problem and thanked him for the job. Every now and then he would hug me, touch me, or stare at me for a long time. He started flirting with me and telling me his personal issues with his fiance and it made me fall for him. Yes, I know I was stupid, but I really liked him.
At the end of the summer we take the kids on a week long cabin trip. Everyone who had worked on the program goes. One night we were sitting by the lake and we kissed. I felt terrible and apologized and he told me he had been wanting to do that for some times now. I asked him about his fiance and he told me she wasn't pure. Being slow, I asked what did he mean and he said she wasn't a virgin like me. I had no idea how he knew this but I was. I told him I was saving myself for my husband and he told me that's what he wish his fiance had did.
The next night he came to my room and we chit chatted. He told me basically everything I wanted to hear. I opened myself up to him and he promised to leave his fiance and be with me. I gave this man my virginity. I asked him about protection and he told me that we didn't need it and he wanted our souls to connect and nothing to block it. The love was slow and painful. I cried tears of happiness because he told me he loved me and I was where he wanted to be. I've never had a boyfriend before because I was always about my school work. This is what I always pictured it to be like.
I knew we couldn't say anything about our relationship in public until he broke it off with his fiance. He came to see me in school and everyone there knew him as my boyfriend. He gave me a promise ring with "forever mines" engraved in the inside. On Halloween, I told him I had missed my period and we took a test together. I am pregnant. He instantly got mad and told me to take care of it. I had never cried so hard in my life. He told me I tricked him into getting me pregnant so I could tell everyone how he was a bad person and try to trap him.
I told him to get out and I have not seen him yet. I am afraid to tell my mom and he keeps calling me asking me if I have gotten "it done yet" because he can't go on with our relationship until that happens. I don't understand why I would have to get an abortion if we are going to be together. He even told me I was a whore and it could be any of the guys at my college. I want to tell my mother but I don't want him to lose his job because of me. Please help. I want my child to come into a loving family with his mother and father. I hope to get married before I give birth to him.
Brittany ..... I need you to grab your reading glasses, and some tissue because your little precious heart is about to break after this session. I'm not one to sugar coat my advice here, as you know, but I'm going to try to keep it light with you today umkay. You have been, what most people call it .. PLAYED! The sad part about it is that you will not understand what he did to you for some years to come. I hope to help you with that today. This man played on your emotions. He knew you thought he was attractive and he probably knew by looking at the way you acted, carried yourself, so forth that you were a virgin. Some men LLLOOOVVEEEE virgins. Weird as hell to me, but I mean they do. They want to be your first. I believe this man did. I feel so bad for you because as a person of authority in the church you probably felt he would never lie to you or do wrong to you. Girl listen, he is not leaving his fiance. She made leave him after this scandal but he is not going to leave her for you. Pure my ass!! He is knocking his fiance DOOOOWWWNNN .. you hear me? Or she could not be having sex with him anymore, as some women cut it off once it gets closer to their wedding, and he knew you were naive and WAH-LAH .. sex with a virgin! Tell whomever the hell you want to tell. The only thing you did wrong in all this is fall for a bunch of bullshit ass lies. First he should never hug you from behind. Girl no! No dick in the ass crack hugs ( or on your back if you are my height ). He should've been watching those bad ass kids!!!! Second, he should've stopped that kissing shit before it started. Since you said you have never had a boyfriend and you are a virgin, I'm pretty sure you were not leaning in first. He was wrong. And THIRD WHY IN THE HELL IS HE IN YOUR ROOM!!!!! Nah shawty liealot, take yo ass back to cabin 526 and pray about your issues. I'm not sure how you got to having sex with him because if you were saving yourself for your husbamd * que beyonce* I don't believe he put a ringor condom on it. So that's a shame on you girl child. You are not going to have this "family" you think is going to happen. You are going to be a single mother. It sucks but you are not the first. No one is going to shame you and if they do LEAVE THAT CHURCH and THEM alone! This is only about 30% your fault. Eat that and be a big girl. You can do it. But tell it! Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and eeevvveerrryyyywwwhhheeerrrrreeeee, that the youth director knocked me up!!
I hope this helps, I have so much more I want to say but I'll end on this. He ain't shit, he isn't the only man that will play you in life, but there are good men out there. Tell your family EVERYTHING and take responsibility for what has happened. If he wants a DNA test give it to him. While you are doing that, sign on up for that good ole child support. I would apologize to his wife, regardless if she forgives you or not. You don't seem like the church whore (every church got on) so hopefully after the pain wears off she will accept it. AND if they stay together girl, just forget it. She will never understand. :)
xoxoxo
Shanice ..
My name is Brittany and I am an 18 year old college student. I started college at the age of 17. During the summer, I came back home and my mother got me a job working for the churches summer camp. I was supervised by our youth director. Now I have always thought my youth director was very attractive but he was engaged and I knew I wasn't his type. He had been my youth director for two years.
One day I was cleaning the kitchen and he came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and said he just wanted to thank me for helping him. I told him, no problem and thanked him for the job. Every now and then he would hug me, touch me, or stare at me for a long time. He started flirting with me and telling me his personal issues with his fiance and it made me fall for him. Yes, I know I was stupid, but I really liked him.
At the end of the summer we take the kids on a week long cabin trip. Everyone who had worked on the program goes. One night we were sitting by the lake and we kissed. I felt terrible and apologized and he told me he had been wanting to do that for some times now. I asked him about his fiance and he told me she wasn't pure. Being slow, I asked what did he mean and he said she wasn't a virgin like me. I had no idea how he knew this but I was. I told him I was saving myself for my husband and he told me that's what he wish his fiance had did.
The next night he came to my room and we chit chatted. He told me basically everything I wanted to hear. I opened myself up to him and he promised to leave his fiance and be with me. I gave this man my virginity. I asked him about protection and he told me that we didn't need it and he wanted our souls to connect and nothing to block it. The love was slow and painful. I cried tears of happiness because he told me he loved me and I was where he wanted to be. I've never had a boyfriend before because I was always about my school work. This is what I always pictured it to be like.
I knew we couldn't say anything about our relationship in public until he broke it off with his fiance. He came to see me in school and everyone there knew him as my boyfriend. He gave me a promise ring with "forever mines" engraved in the inside. On Halloween, I told him I had missed my period and we took a test together. I am pregnant. He instantly got mad and told me to take care of it. I had never cried so hard in my life. He told me I tricked him into getting me pregnant so I could tell everyone how he was a bad person and try to trap him.
I told him to get out and I have not seen him yet. I am afraid to tell my mom and he keeps calling me asking me if I have gotten "it done yet" because he can't go on with our relationship until that happens. I don't understand why I would have to get an abortion if we are going to be together. He even told me I was a whore and it could be any of the guys at my college. I want to tell my mother but I don't want him to lose his job because of me. Please help. I want my child to come into a loving family with his mother and father. I hope to get married before I give birth to him.
Brittany ..... I need you to grab your reading glasses, and some tissue because your little precious heart is about to break after this session. I'm not one to sugar coat my advice here, as you know, but I'm going to try to keep it light with you today umkay. You have been, what most people call it .. PLAYED! The sad part about it is that you will not understand what he did to you for some years to come. I hope to help you with that today. This man played on your emotions. He knew you thought he was attractive and he probably knew by looking at the way you acted, carried yourself, so forth that you were a virgin. Some men LLLOOOVVEEEE virgins. Weird as hell to me, but I mean they do. They want to be your first. I believe this man did. I feel so bad for you because as a person of authority in the church you probably felt he would never lie to you or do wrong to you. Girl listen, he is not leaving his fiance. She made leave him after this scandal but he is not going to leave her for you. Pure my ass!! He is knocking his fiance DOOOOWWWNNN .. you hear me? Or she could not be having sex with him anymore, as some women cut it off once it gets closer to their wedding, and he knew you were naive and WAH-LAH .. sex with a virgin! Tell whomever the hell you want to tell. The only thing you did wrong in all this is fall for a bunch of bullshit ass lies. First he should never hug you from behind. Girl no! No dick in the ass crack hugs ( or on your back if you are my height ). He should've been watching those bad ass kids!!!! Second, he should've stopped that kissing shit before it started. Since you said you have never had a boyfriend and you are a virgin, I'm pretty sure you were not leaning in first. He was wrong. And THIRD WHY IN THE HELL IS HE IN YOUR ROOM!!!!! Nah shawty liealot, take yo ass back to cabin 526 and pray about your issues. I'm not sure how you got to having sex with him because if you were saving yourself for your husbamd * que beyonce* I don't believe he put a ring
I hope this helps, I have so much more I want to say but I'll end on this. He ain't shit, he isn't the only man that will play you in life, but there are good men out there. Tell your family EVERYTHING and take responsibility for what has happened. If he wants a DNA test give it to him. While you are doing that, sign on up for that good ole child support. I would apologize to his wife, regardless if she forgives you or not. You don't seem like the church whore (every church got on) so hopefully after the pain wears off she will accept it. AND if they stay together girl, just forget it. She will never understand. :)
xoxoxo
Shanice ..
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