Skip to main content

To Feel Hopeless - Mike Brown Non Indictment

It has taken me all morning to gather my thoughts to even put down on paper. I really wish I could strike up a podcast, actively talk to people and share our thoughts. This is going to be a pretty lengthy post and all over the place but bare with me, I'm empty at this point.


Today at work, this topic of discussion came up. I stayed out of it and have had my headphones in the entire day. I don't want to hear your reasoning or your name calling for those who are looting and burning shit up. Do I care about them burning up things. Hell no I don't care. Tell me what those people in Ferguson, that are HURTING, actually own in Ferguson? If those black business "that were burned" helped their communities, I'm pretty sure they would be standing. Now I say that coming from a town of black business who are doing things in the community and I know for a FACT, people who not touch those places. But again, these people are called animals due to their reaction.

So tell me, white and black people, how did you think they were going to react? It's late at night, we are already on edge. You have called in all this law enforcement on us before we even knew when we were going to hear about this decision. Please tell me how you would react to someone telling you that ANOTHER BLACK LIFE doesn't matter, after you watched this man's body lay in the street? After you cried out to the "justice system" to just give us an indictment. We just want you to say, YES, you are indicted!  Yes, you cannot keep killing these black people and calling it "self defense". That didn't happen. I knew it wouldn't happen, but that doesn't mean it feels good.

Let's talk about peacefully protesting. Hmm .. I mean it has really gotten us so far in life hasn't it? Now I'm not one to want to see anyone get hurt. But I could GIVE A FUCK about some buildings burning. I could give a SHIT about a police car on fire. You know what I do care about that they didn't show on TV,hat I saw on my social media? .... Were the black men and women crying. CRYING! Unless you know how it feels to know that this country will NEVER protect you, then I would like for you to shut up and let these people express themselves how they want. Yes they are people looting and so forth, but we are not the only people who have reacted this way to anything. So you can stop right there with all of that bullshit. Trust me, if that was my brother or son, shit would be tore up! Mike Brown isn't our family, but he IS OUR FAMILY.

If I see another black person comparing this to black on black crime ... I'm going to find the big bad woof and blow your shit off!!!!!! Races kill each other!! We are killing each other because Jon Jon owe me for that weight I let him hold and I gotta prove to these other niggas that I'm a man. Henry is killing Desean because he feels superior over him. He KNOWS he is better than Desean, so why let him live. Yes, we need to stop killing each other but can we just stop focusing on our downfall right now? People are hurting and all we want to do it beat up on ourselves more. Thanks so much for telling me that my feelings don't matter because my race kills each other, don't show up to the polls to vote, pookie nem stay on welfare and don't care about anything else, we stay in line for Jordans but don't march .. like STFU ALREADY!! We get it! But none of that means kill us for no gah damn reason. If you want to say something, then point Pookie 'nem in the direction to a black organization to get involved with.

Even if you are not "shocked" by this non indictment, the least you could do is point people into the direction to get involved in the black community. And I'm not talking NAACP either ..... #allshade All I kept seeing yesterday was "I don't know why you'll are shocked. You'll should've did this and that." Really? This is the time you want to put the blame on us? You do know that you are black to right? You do understand that a simple phone call to 911 stating someone is afraid of you .. EVEN IF YOUR NOT HARMING THEM .. could end your life right? You do understand that you can cry out and say I DON'T HAVE A WEAPON or I CANNOT BREATH, and they will still murder your ass right? OH ok just checking because according to you, black people need to learn some manners and respect for the law. BBAHAHAHAHA. I laugh at people like you. As a grown black woman, my mother always taught me yes ma'am and no sir. My late grandmother told me, don't give them a reason to harm you. My grandfather told me, and baby 98% of the time they don't need one!!!! So what the FUCK do you mean have respect for the law. This law was not designed to help us!

Yesterday all I saw on my Facebook page was, WE NEED TO PRAY. GOD WILL FIX IT. PRAYER CHANGES THINGS, JUST WATCH. Ok girls, let's just gone say this prayer and sit here and watch what God does. LOL!! You guys KILL ME!! I'm so aware of how many people worship God but have no idea of what he does. God is not going to come down here and kill Darren Wilson or anyone that has killed an innocent black person. Faith without Work is DEAD. Read your bible! You don't think our slave ancestors were praying when they were being beating, raped, killed! You don't think Mike Brown cried out to God when he was being shot? You don't think John Crawford prayed? You don't think our parents and grandparents prayed that we would never have to go through what they are going threw? YES! They prayed. Everyday! But they also got out there and FOUGHT with each other to make changes. Some protest were peaceful and some were violent. It is what it is.

I have not been on social media today because I woke up in a nasty mood, with racist white men in my facebook inbox. And after letting them know ... this one is NOT the one .. I just needed a break. I'm so tired of this feeling, and honestly it gets worst with every killing. A 12 year old boy was shot and killed in OH. He had a toy gun and someone called the police on him while he was at the playground. I read somewhere that the police officer will not be charged. People wonder why black men always scream "fuck 12". It's because they never protect us. We have to protect us. We have been the only ones protecting us for many years. The material things have taken over our hindsight but we need to get back to being a community that sticks together. I pray my children don't witness this in their lifetime, but I will also train them up to be aware and know how to deal with certain situations.

To Be Cont.
xoxox
who wants to podcast with me about these events? :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If It Were You, Would You Be Proud

I don't really know how to start this post, but ya'll rock with me so just let me have a moment. I love to blog but I am having time management issues with everything going on in my life. It doesn't make me money so it kind of goes on the back burner even though I love to do it. My small home town had a double homicide yesterday. I'm not listing names or locations because I respect the privacy of everyone in that situation. With a sad heart, my mind began to race with thoughts of "if this happened to me, have I lived the life I wanted?" Because it can happened to any of us. I live in Stone Mountain, GA and although my block is very quiet, little to no children on the block, just a few weeks ago my husband and I came home to a road full with police, fire department trucks, ambulance vans and cars everywhere. We still don't know what happened down there. I work for myself. My husband and I started a few businesses together and each of them has there se

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!!

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out