So Long, farewell, to you my friend! Goodbye for now, until we meet again. It's been great to play and sing together( in the box) , and now it's time to say goodbye ( makes noise ). In the box was the JAM!!! I know you'll was sanging it along with me.
Anywho welcome shark bait uh ah ah ( it's from Finding Nemo ) to Randomness Part 7!! I feel like it's been a while since I did one, so let's get on with it umkay? UMKAY!
1. The Summer is here,and crop tops are STILL not in my near future. But, I'm so fine with that. It's the fact that you other larger than life MEM's are not. UMMMM, I am not trying to see your stomach out, if it's tucked in your jeans. As I always say, looking like ya stomach dumlapes over your breetches. It's ok to be cute, but don't give people a reason to talk. Keep pushing girls!! I am!
2. I think I'm a professional ratchet. I mean as soon as my wheels hit the pavement leaving work its " Let me in, le le let me in, let me smash you and yo friends, I'm just tryna go in yyaaayyy! She like poppin Molly she like ..." you get the picture. I mean I know all the words to this song. People give me the side eye because I'm in this sweater suit and knee length skirt cramping that batman in my truck. Is there a class I can take?
3. If you not gone give me any of your food stamps, stop telling me how much you get for your 35 kids. I don't care!!!!! Yes, you sell them and you steal .... BUT you still not giving me any so ... keep your $1500 .. selfish ass ...
4. So, you'll been to church since Easter Sunday? I'm not judging, just checking. Oh wait, Mother's Day just passed. So yeah, you'll was there. Do you'll get mad uncomfortable when the pastor comes up to you after service for the awkward ass, "haven't seen you in a while, nice to have you" conversation. Like he don't know you only come on special occasions. Be up there sweating bullets let Lord please don't let him know what I was doing last night. LOL!!!
5. There is this one guys at my job that weirds me the hell out. I want to tell him " DON'T YOU SEE ME NOT TALKING TO YOU! WHY ARE YOU HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THE BACK OF ME" Why don't people understand that when you umhm and aww ( insert weird little laugh ) that means leave me the hell alone. Kinda like the man that called me Shay Bell? Remember?
6. I was in Publix and I saw this little girl knock down all the snacks her mama told her she couldn't have. The mom just picked them up and said you are getting a time out. She knocked them down again and stepped on it. The mom just did the same thing again. I looked at this bih like .... if you don't snatch up the neck of her tshirt, so that when you let go its real wrinkly and let her know! You gotta make your lips into a thin line, teeth close and say real quietly ... when I get home, Ima tardatassup you hear me? You better start crying now! I'm not here for bad ass kids. Remember the little girl in CrackerBarrel?
7. Youhadababybyamanthataintshitanditsaboy .... Congrats!
8. So if you are my friend on FB you know I recieved a letter from a girl trying to figure out how to tell her sister she is sleeping with her husband. It's a LLLLLOOONNNGGGG story but just a little sneak peak. These sisters just met a few years ago and the new sister never met the husband. The wife sister has been married to him for over 4 years and the girlfriend sister has been dating him for about 2. They do not live in the same area and the girlfriend sister was advised by the cheating husband that he was in the army. Did you catch that? Its alot .. I'm going to do a Vlog about it because I NEED TO GO IN ON BOTH PARTS!
Thanks for checking in ! You guys are super awesome! Have a great weekend ... oh and I will update on MEM and D next week :)
xoxoxo
Julius, Beyonce Bodyguard, sister
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