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Dear Mother of the crying baby , You need a time out!

Dear Mother of the SCREAMING child , 

 This entire restaurant is staring at you because your child has been SCREAMING for the last 30 minutes. First off, that little stick she keeps hitting you with, take that shit away!! She is knocking you upside the head with it, & she has knocked the glasses off the table, girl WTF!!! Then, she slapped you in the face. STOP. LETS STOP RIGHT THURRRRR!!!!! I need to talk to my ovaries for just a few moments : 

 Dear Ovaries, 

 As I sit here and stare at this little 4 year old girl, headbutt the FACK out her mother, I just PRAY that God gives you the common sense to know that your mother is crazy. If you EVER in the MF MIND headbutt me ON PURPOSE .... i will kill you. No like listen to what I am telling you ... I will beat your ass to the point that if someone sneezing and their head leans towards you ...PANIC ATTACK ACTION will happen!! You will NOT show your ass like this little girl in this restaurant! You will NOT be hooked on iPads and cellphones like this little girl is because that isn't helping the problem. So PLEASE PPPAAAHHHH-LLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEE ... don't try mommy. If you want to be able to sit down, and not wake up screaming during mid nightmares about ass whoopings ..... then don't try mommy. UMMKAY Umm Kay!

 Back to you crazy lady, 

 Take your daughter to the bathroom and TAR-DAT-ASS-UP! She will be ok. She will cry! She will take a nap! Then you can eat in peace! Then when you get home ... start spanking her for acting up because you cannot expect her to be on her best behavior out, if she is the President at home and your the maid. I know people frown on spankings, but clearly that time out shit isn't working either. Or you wouldn't be picking up a cracked phone off the floor.

 xoxoxoxo
been taking ass whoopings since '89 
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