Skip to main content

Dear Elevator Riders

Why in the holly HELL would you want to squeeze your big body in with all 15 of us already on here. I HATE when the elevator is packed and that one person in the front says " Oh hey, we have room for you". No, NO THE FAK WE DO NOT! I'm already folder up in this corner like a fortune cookie ,with bodies touching my arms; and you want to add more people on here. Do you NOT see the sign that says " hey that's enough people on the elevator!!" Its right there!! It says "Minimum, 3 fat people, 2 medium fat people, and 4 skinny people can ride at the same time." Take that hamburger helper hand and put it back in this elevator or get the hell off. When you are breathing and you can see the person in front of you hair move, that enough people on this ride. Now all of you know we are in the death trap elevator anyway and you want to add more people to the ride down. Sweet baby Jesus, if you get me down safely I promise not to curse these people out when I get off. The elevator is just clunking down, the sweat is pouring down my face, and my stomach is hurting so bad I could vomit. Hello lady giving me the weird stare, I am 5 seconds away from giving you my magical finger. Oh that must've been your friend I suggested we leave on the other floor. You should've gotten off with him then! 
xoxoxoxo
the stairs never looked so good
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If It Were You, Would You Be Proud

I don't really know how to start this post, but ya'll rock with me so just let me have a moment. I love to blog but I am having time management issues with everything going on in my life. It doesn't make me money so it kind of goes on the back burner even though I love to do it. My small home town had a double homicide yesterday. I'm not listing names or locations because I respect the privacy of everyone in that situation. With a sad heart, my mind began to race with thoughts of "if this happened to me, have I lived the life I wanted?" Because it can happened to any of us. I live in Stone Mountain, GA and although my block is very quiet, little to no children on the block, just a few weeks ago my husband and I came home to a road full with police, fire department trucks, ambulance vans and cars everywhere. We still don't know what happened down there. I work for myself. My husband and I started a few businesses together and each of them has there se
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!!
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..

I'm a ME kind of Mommy

I am a me type of Mommy. I pumped, breastfeed and formula feed my child. I pumped enough to store for future and my husband would feed him formula bottles when I was tapped out sleep. I am a vaccine mom. I say a little prayer before my son gets his shots each time and I watch him like a hawk afterwards. TO ME it is worth it. I am a cry it out mom. Yeah it sucks sometimes but it's worked out in MY favor. He gives me a smooth hour playing in his play pen with no interruptions to do whatever it is I need to do around the house.  I am a cosleep and baby bed mom. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of my bed for night feedings so he sleeps in bed with us. Other nights I need some "adult time" and I kick his little ass out. LOL. I am a "his first pair of real shoes are white hard bottoms". I am a when the doctor says he can start eating food he ate everything! Fruits and veggies first and later meats.  I am a google mom. I will google the shit out
Post a Comment
See What The Crazy Is About ..