New Monday spot! I get a nice amount of emails from men asking me things that honestly, I cannot answer. So Today I want to introduce #MCM Danny's Advice. Every Monday you can catch a topic/letter from him answering. We have some catching up to do but decided to jump on in with this question since I have been asked twice already. Enjoy!
There are some options to consider :
At some point when your alone, think these things over:
Can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life
If no... move on.
If Yes ... then we will move on to the next point after this.
If Maybe : then listen up buddy,this is for you.
Think of what you like about this person and set that aside. Now think about what you don't like about this person, the little things they do around the house, when your out, etc. Now if these things bother you to the point where you are over it and want them to get the fuck away from you then, you are leaning towards a soft No. Because in 5 years when your married, these things will bug you so much and make you so mad the simple things that don't bother you will multiple. Then your on Fuck Ave, looking for Divorce Street.
Now back to the positives! Now if the these things you like make you smile regardless of how long you've been together or certain things make you nervous ( butterfly nervous ) then you have a winner. BING BING BING .. you have been selected to move on to the next section .....
Now, the next thing that you should be wondering if you're past these to steps is how does my partner feel about marriage? Have you guys had this discussion? If not, then this is a conversation that you need to casually bring up at some point,here and there, to gauge if they want to be married. Because nobody wants one of those John Cena mutha fucka, I love you to death but I never want to get married and never want to have kids .. when you want those things.
Ok then, now you need to think about : WHAT ARE MY FINANCIAL CAPABILITIES?
Because no one want to receive a bubble gum ring. ( Shanice here : you gah damn right!! ) You want to make sure you have a plan for the future, and when I say future I mean, how do you plan on making money with this person in the future. The number one reason people divorced is because of finances. You don't necessarily need to have the money now, BUT you need to be making a plan on what you're going to be doing 2-5-10 years from now. Financial stability is a must. So when the water bill comes,and you tell each other what it is .. no one is upset ... and no one is debating over whether to pay the water bill or buy milk and bread. Ain't nobody trying to debate on who took the longest bath, why you can't wash all your clothes together, taking conjoined showers ( with no sex involved ), making wish sandwiches, while drinking rain water you put pots out for at dinner. IF YOU DONT GET! If you are at this point, then both of you need to be having a conversation about your fiances. Get it together, make it work (willow smith voice ). Oh yeah .. that mutha fuckin wedding ain't gone be cheap neither. So decide if she wants a wedding or cool with going to the COIT HAWSE ..lmao!!!
Once you are past all this ... time for titter-totter shit ... do each of your sets of friends/family like each other? If not, you guys need to try to make amends with those people. Nobody wants that " I never liked that mutha fucka anyways " " I don't know why you are with him/her " " I saw him/her at the club with somebody else " " Momma/cousin/friend always talking shit in your significant others ear " ... don't nobody got time for that. And if you can't see yourself getting along with them .. you might not be able to stay in a marriage of longevity with this person.
This is the last thing ... when you think you are ready to propose .. unless you two have agreed to have an open relationship .... THEN YOU NEED TO LET DESE BITCHES GO AND SHE NEED TO LET DESE BITCHES GO .... because it's only one bitch nah .. and you too are the bitch. Because if you are not ready to let them go.. then it's gone be ttrrruuubbblllleeee tttrrruuuubbbllleeeee * bernie mac voice *
If you got through all this .. looks like you are ready to propose!
- Dany
There are some options to consider :
At some point when your alone, think these things over:
Can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life
If no... move on.
If Yes ... then we will move on to the next point after this.
If Maybe : then listen up buddy,this is for you.
Think of what you like about this person and set that aside. Now think about what you don't like about this person, the little things they do around the house, when your out, etc. Now if these things bother you to the point where you are over it and want them to get the fuck away from you then, you are leaning towards a soft No. Because in 5 years when your married, these things will bug you so much and make you so mad the simple things that don't bother you will multiple. Then your on Fuck Ave, looking for Divorce Street.
Now back to the positives! Now if the these things you like make you smile regardless of how long you've been together or certain things make you nervous ( butterfly nervous ) then you have a winner. BING BING BING .. you have been selected to move on to the next section .....
Now, the next thing that you should be wondering if you're past these to steps is how does my partner feel about marriage? Have you guys had this discussion? If not, then this is a conversation that you need to casually bring up at some point,here and there, to gauge if they want to be married. Because nobody wants one of those John Cena mutha fucka, I love you to death but I never want to get married and never want to have kids .. when you want those things.
Ok then, now you need to think about : WHAT ARE MY FINANCIAL CAPABILITIES?
Because no one want to receive a bubble gum ring. ( Shanice here : you gah damn right!! ) You want to make sure you have a plan for the future, and when I say future I mean, how do you plan on making money with this person in the future. The number one reason people divorced is because of finances. You don't necessarily need to have the money now, BUT you need to be making a plan on what you're going to be doing 2-5-10 years from now. Financial stability is a must. So when the water bill comes,and you tell each other what it is .. no one is upset ... and no one is debating over whether to pay the water bill or buy milk and bread. Ain't nobody trying to debate on who took the longest bath, why you can't wash all your clothes together, taking conjoined showers ( with no sex involved ), making wish sandwiches, while drinking rain water you put pots out for at dinner. IF YOU DONT GET! If you are at this point, then both of you need to be having a conversation about your fiances. Get it together, make it work (willow smith voice ). Oh yeah .. that mutha fuckin wedding ain't gone be cheap neither. So decide if she wants a wedding or cool with going to the COIT HAWSE ..lmao!!!
Once you are past all this ... time for titter-totter shit ... do each of your sets of friends/family like each other? If not, you guys need to try to make amends with those people. Nobody wants that " I never liked that mutha fucka anyways " " I don't know why you are with him/her " " I saw him/her at the club with somebody else " " Momma/cousin/friend always talking shit in your significant others ear " ... don't nobody got time for that. And if you can't see yourself getting along with them .. you might not be able to stay in a marriage of longevity with this person.
This is the last thing ... when you think you are ready to propose .. unless you two have agreed to have an open relationship .... THEN YOU NEED TO LET DESE BITCHES GO AND SHE NEED TO LET DESE BITCHES GO .... because it's only one bitch nah .. and you too are the bitch. Because if you are not ready to let them go.. then it's gone be ttrrruuubbblllleeee tttrrruuuubbbllleeeee * bernie mac voice *
If you got through all this .. looks like you are ready to propose!
- Dany
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