Dear Mr. Elevator Man

Dear your lovely people from the north, I come to you with the same love I have for this snow outside, NONE AT ALL! We "get" that this "little snow" is nothing to you, but its a big damn deal to us here. We do not have the equipment to clean these roads up like you guys do,because of the same reason your old ass Memaw has Winter Vacation homes down here. IT'S WARM OUTSIDE! Now I know your thinking, Shanice calm down we are just joking. Well just like them old ass Uggs you've had for 3 years; with all them spots on them, the shit gets old. Out of my 24, almost 25 years of living I've seen snow about ummmmmmmmmmm 10 times. Now only 4 out of those 10 times did it stick, and only 3 out of those 4 times was I stuck in the house.  No, we do not have snow tires. FOOORRRR WWWHHHHHAATTTT!! When I go get new tires I'm not thinking, man it might snow during one these 45 degree winter days. No, I'm just not. Hell I don't even think the place I go to

Its MONDAY!!!!! I'm at work right now and I just can't seem to get my focus together. So I am taking 5 and hopefully when I'm done with this; I'll be back into my #workflow. MEM Update! So I don't actually have an update but a funny situation. I get off work earlier now then before and I don't think I'm going to see MEM much. Bummer I know, but you never know. So I am riding the elevator with 1001 people , and I'm in the corner so no one can see me really. MEM gets on the elevator, but again, no one can see me in this corner with all 5'3 of my breathing on my neighbors lower back reign. Gross? I know but whatever. So he gets on and a lady starts talking to him and guess what? HE DOESN'T TALK BACK!! Like at all! He is looking at her all crazy and doesn't say more than 2 words to this lady. I mean she is giving him all types of FEVER! Like hit me baby one more time teas! He isn't falling into the cup. She gets off and says its nice to

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=457535307681688&set=vb.448507781917774&type=2&theater A quick rant from me! I didn't want to put it on Youtube so click the link! See you soon MEMer!

Why in the holly HELL would you want to squeeze your big body in with all 15 of us already on here. I HATE when the elevator is packed and that one person in the front says " Oh hey, we have room for you". No, NO THE FAK WE DO NOT! I'm already folder up in this corner like a fortune cookie ,with bodies touching my arms; and you want to add more people on here. Do you NOT see the sign that says " hey that's enough people on the elevator!!" Its right there!! It says "Minimum, 3 fat people, 2 medium fat people, and 4 skinny people can ride at the same time." Take that hamburger helper hand and put it back in this elevator or get the hell off. When you are breathing and you can see the person in front of you hair move, that enough people on this ride. Now all of you know we are in the death trap elevator anyway and you want to add more people to the ride down. Sweet baby Jesus, if you get me down safely I promise not to curse these people out when I ge

Happy Monday!! If you are a foodie like me, that is trying her damness to lose weight, you are always on the hunt for a good recipe. I was on Pinterest and ran across this recipe and I'll be a monkeys uncle is was GREAT!! Now listen before we even get started I was only taking these pictures to post for the girls on my fitness Fb page : www.facebook.com/fitnessisstillsexy but decided to share it here! Ok so this is what you need to get started on this : Why yes that's 1800 Coconut, and no you don't need that for this meal. LOL. For the filling :  Carrots Different Peppers ( I got the yellow, green, red and orange pack at Wal-Mart)\ Garlic  Sauce :  Balsamic Vinegar Brown Sugar Beef Broth Now we got thin steak from out meat market and I cut it into thin strip and seasoned them. Use whatever type of seasoning you like. Once I seasoned them I let them sit in Worcestershire sauce for about 30 minutes, as I got my veggies together!   Next I

Dear MEM,   I can't stop laughing. No I mean I am trying but the tears won't stop falling, and now I can't breathe. OK Ok I'm sorry, but I still don't understand how this happened. You were to cool to wear protection and look what happened to you! So let me get this right, the girl you met at Publix took you Horseback riding, and now your going to the hospital because the inside of your legs are raw. BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Listen, listen, listen, why on earth would you go bare back on a horse? Are you crazy! Well that I know the answer to but I mean I don't feel bad for you at all. I can see you out there in your polo riding boots, tight Levi jeans, crying like a BIATCH because your private hurts. SMH. So now your going to the doctor because it hurts when your pants rub against you. BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! No, no, listen, if you could see your face right now you would laugh too! Oh so your mad at me for laughing but n

Dear Mr On Looker,  I am just trying to stay healthy and eat my apple but YOU KIND SIR WON'T LET ME! You are all up in this window like you can taste the apple as I'm eating it. Why is this so interesting to you? Are Granny Smith apples your favorite? Would you like me to roll this window down and throw this at your face? I just want you to help me help you get the hell out of my face.  So Mr. Sir, while you are staring at me in my face, your light is green! I'm blowing at you to tell you that your light is green, not to wave. LIKE WTH! Why do I want to wave at you stranger danger? Now all the people behind you are looking at me in my car like we made an education connection. Hey guys!! I don't know this man!! We were not bus buddies on the Magic School Bus.  xoxoxoxo eating in public use to be so simply, but you rather make it hard 

I have a MEM post but I'm waiting until after his doctors appointment to update you guys. LOL. I could just die to see you guys face after you read that. I'm not saying anymore about that until later.  Welcome to my random thoughts #4 !!!! - I have 36 more days until I can get back on Social Media. I don't even know how I've made it these 9 days but here I am. My thumb hovers over the icons so much, it starts to hurt.  - I think it so weird how you can be super faithful to someone and they always seem to crap on everything you built. Some people in relationships are needy, and need lots of attention. I have seen plenty of relationships fail because someone steps over the respect line because he/she wants more attention from people. When does that person grow up? Would you stay with someone like that?  - WHEN IS FINDING DORY COMING OUT!!!!  - Why is it " the pot calling the kettle black?" My pots are not black they are silver. So does that make my pot

Happy Monday!!! I have started this first sentence over like a million times. My blog has no structure, some times I write about MEM and some times I write about other things. Today will be an other things post. Sorry if you were looking for an MEM post, it isn't behind this door. Now go sit with Mother Love and wait on the update.  So again, this is just a rant! If your feelings get hurt because of something I said, stop clicking on these post.  What happen to fighting? I'm not talking about that near death fighting. I'm talking about that, when your friends see that the message you are were trying to give, is given, then breaking you'll up  type of fighting. I remember when you didn't like someone, you'll fought and let it go. Hell some times you didn't even fight, you just ignored each other and went about your day. I am so tired of hearing about people getting killed and shot up because of a disagreement. Listen, nothing in this world is that

Dear MEM,  Why are you on the same Publix aisle that I am? Do you live close by? Why are you eye-rapping this lady next to me and why is she giving me the stank eye? OOOHHHHHHHKKKKAAAAYYYY, this is getting weird. Hello!!!! Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you, why are you in my Publixs!! Yes I claimed it. So you don't live close nor do you live far? This conversation is really confusing. Listen, pulling my arm to take me to the pet food aisle, isn't very friendly! Ok, you got that ladies number 5 minutes ago, and you are texting her now? * rubs forehead* Your still on the pipe aren't you? That is so weird, texting someone that you just received their number less then 10 seconds ago!! SSTTOOOPPPP!! What did I tell you about this weird shat? Then your doing this weird poppin' penguins dance around me, like what the hell are you doing? I'm going to take my steamed broccoli and go home. NO you can't come over, NO I will not invite you over soon, NO we

Dear Jimmy Johns, I'm not sure how you guys pick you delivery workers but you should see if they can count before sending them off. Now I am not one to judge BUT when I hand a delivery person my money, I just know they are not going to ask me how much change do I need back. Now I know what you are thinking, maybe he wanted to get the tip out right?  Well, I had already advised the red power ranger of the tip I was giving him, and to give me the rest. YET IN STILL, he asked me again how much change do I need. Now in my mind, I am thinking there are only about 3 ways to give me back $13, AND I say " Which ever is easiest for you ". See Jesus created man and when he created man, man created math. Or maybe Jesus created Math. Whatever just go with me on this .....  Now the wonderful thing about this math is that when you start school they teach it to you until you graduate. So why is it that your delivery guy, is still asking me ......... um so that would be how much. THIRT

Listen, its so damn cold that I can't think straight. Like I had a whole post about MEM but listen .............. I can't feel my feet!!!!!! My hands are cold, my nose is cold .. I AM OVER IT!!! This guy asked me why I didn't have gloves ........ BECAUSE I LIVE IN THE SOUTH! I only have a scarf because it's cute. I'm trying to catch a bird to South America because I promise you'll I just can't function. Tomorrow night it's going to be 6 degrees. Yes like the age of a first grader.Yup over it. Let's go ahead and call up Dora, get Maps and find me a warm location because the Devil is a liar! The truth isn't in him and the heat isn't in the MF either!  So I have doing a 45 day weight loss challenge. This week I am detoxing, and due to the heat not functioning correctly in my office building, I had coffee this morning. Hell as I'm typing this I want another cup just to stay warm! Why don't you just drink warm water you might ask? Tried

....... Part I Dear MEM,  I know you are looking at me weird because I just yelled at you to not say your name. I just panicked, ok! See, I can't know you name. Because if I did, then that would make this real. I would Google you, because I would want to know things. You would start asking me whats my favorite this and that, or trying to friend me on social media and THAT MY DEAR will NOT happen! You have to stay the stranger on the elevator,and  I have to stay the unaccredited counselor. So I will call you Mr. Elevator Man. Which is why I'm laughing now, because you have NO idea there is a whole blog that was started about our encounters and now I am officially saying it out loud. I don't really like Miss Elevator Girl, but I'll let it go for the time. Kind of sounds like we are dating so I will change it to Noble Counselor. Yeah, I like that better. You seem to be feeling weird because of the no name exchange, but if I knew your name; I probably wouldn't talk