#MCM - Can My Baby Mama Stay?

Dear Danny, I wanted to know your POV on this meme going around recently. My girlfriends and I are on the same page. The baby mama cannot stay here - and my husband would be on the curb with her if I came home and she was there. We just wanted to hear from a man's side.

Thanks !

*Deeps breaths* There is so much ... 

I am going to respond to this letter as I am speaking to him. 

Were you wrong? Yes and No. You were wrong because you went against your wife's answer. You asked her her thoughts,she gave it to you; and you disregarded them. Now we can see why she did this. One - because she doesn't want someone you were previously sexually involved with and/or in a relationship with staying under her roof. For obvious reasons, this could bring up a whole trunk load of problems. She can feel like your ex still might want to be with you, she can be having trust issues thinking you may fall weak and do some shit you ain't suppose to. Women are competitive with each other - so whether it's jealously, insecurities, or just her competitive nature .. she can start seeing things being another way than they are. They could also just not like each other. So as you can see there are a lot of problems that can arise. Ask yourself this question - if her baby daddy( who has custody of their kid ) had gotten evicted - would you allow him to move up in the house. And why not. 

Now let's talk about why you weren't wrong. This is the mother of your son, and we can see why you would want too - even if you are not involved with this person and/or still attracted to this person ( I highly doubt you're not attracted ) - you would still want her to be comfortable and safe for your son's sake. I commend any man and woman that looks at their child's parent and says " even if we are not together or see eye to eye you are going to be straight because you are my child's parent. " You don't want your child to see their parent struggling and sad; so you prop them up for that sake. The same reason why even if you are paying child support and you felt the money was sufficient .. if the other parent called and said they needed some money for this and that you would say fine and give it. You do this so no problems arise or discomfort for your child - due to the lack of funds. Let's say this isn't your child's mother .. let's just say it's some person that you know ( relative, friend ). We as human beings, regardless your religion or faith which probably tells you to help others but I digress, are suppose to look out and help one another when we can. If you have it, if you can afford to give it, then you should always open your hands and pockets to provide and help people in need. 

Maybe a better solution would've been to pay her rent, find her somewhere to stay, ask a relative if she could stay with them and you provide assistance to them. Even though this might not be financially smart for your situation, and if that's the case, maybe you felt like this was the only course of action you had. Your wife is going to have to trust you, and I expect you to give her the same respect and to hold her trust in high regards. Maybe you need to sit down with your child's mother and your wife and let your child's mother express to your wife her gratitude and appreciation. Let your child's mother express to your wife that she will be gone as soon as she gets on her feet. 

Now let's be real for a quick second .. 

In what reality is it cool for someone to get evicted, let alone your child's mother and you say - oh the baby can come but the mama .. nah bruh you can sleep on the church steps .... WHAT! That is so heartless and so cruel. Let's be grown up here ... at some point right is right and wrong is wrong. Although you may have a certain feeling about something .. sometimes you have to let shit go and do the right thing. I'm pretty sure if this woman had somewhere else to go she would ... I'm also pretty sure that this man wanted to avoid confrontation with his wife all together but stepped in to be a MAN and took them both in. 

Now sir .. I don't know when you gone rectify this situation ... but uumm you need to pull some more hours at work to help your child's mother get a new place to stay. You ALSO need to bring home flowers, and chocolates, and start taking your wife out 3-4 times a week to make her feel loved and cherished .. and to get out the dog house ... but to also let her know that she married a man that loves only her. 

- Danny 

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