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Leaving My Crutches

Today I officially leave the corporate working world. LAWDDDD HELP ME!!! I went back and forth on whether I wanted to share this with others or not, and said hell why not! I'm not sharing er'thang - but - I can give you a little bit umkay!! 

First let's get into this BEAT! That lash got my eye looking a little like it's off that purp but thats neither here nor there. :) I'm also really starting to embrace these big ass eyes of mine. BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT ...

So today is my last day at my current job. I am leaving because my fiance started a business as well as helping with other people visions as well. No lie - a bih nervous as hell - but I am excited as shit! People at work have been asking me how I prepared myself to leave and truth be told I don't know how I did it. You want to plan everything and make sure everything is in place before you leave - but sometimes it doesn't happen that way. I was pushed into having to resign. LITERALLY I was getting no sleep from coming to work from 730-430 to going home and helping my fiance until 2 or 3am - to doing other things LIKE PLAN A DAMN WEDDING ... until one day I literally cried all the way to work because I was so tired but I knew I had to go in. Also it was the only way I knew I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel and die umkay!! You can sing Jesus take the wheel all you want but yo ass gone end up in the tree with the Mobile leprechaun if you try to nap and drive. 



I'm used to getting paid on the 1st and 15th of each month. Those are my crutches. I never have to worry about when money is coming or how much because - I'm salaried and I ALWAYS get paid twice a month. So when you rip those away from up under you .... shit gets real scary ... but that is not my fear. Failure is not my fear. I have failed at a few things in life - like being a college drop out, my tennis career I never started, being tall, one time I tried to make turnovers and that was a BIG fail - so I'm not afraid of that. Success is what I am afraid of. LOL. BISH WHET!!! Yes, I am afraid of success. I honestly think a lot of us are. My job has already stated I can come back - low key I'm counting the months until I will be back. Ain't that ass backwards? I feel like what if I succeed, then what? What is the next step? How do I keep this going? OMG I HAVE TO LEAVE MY JOB?? Yes girl, you have to leave your job. But what about my bills!! Girl you have bill money ... But But But what about my nail appointments .. girl you have nail appointment money ... but .... And I'm out of buts - well other than the one I'm sitting on - because everything is covered. I have no other excuse any more on how/when/why I am going to fail at this. 

So before this post gets any longer .. lets chop this shit up real quick like umkay!

1. I enjoyed my job - it was stressful at times - but the team made it better on days. I have some great long term friends
2. Do It! Just Do It. #nonike You can plan and plan and plan ... but WORK YOUR PLAN
3. I still don't love these hoes but whatever 
4. I'm blogging and vlogging more so get ready for these reader letter hunny ummkkay!!
5. The hardest thing to do was leave my job, but I knew I had too. Don't be out here in these street, homeless, but you decided you want to start a tshirt line and quit your job today with no COINT in the bank. Chile ..... 
6. In the last month I have heard/known/saw a total of 6 people pass away suddenly. Live now. Stress Less and Live More. Take chances!! I feel like my 20s I'm suppose to BOMB, my 30's is what I become a "real adult" and my 40's is when my fiances are fully where they should be, business where it should be, and I am breathing easy from the hard work I've already put in. It's always when I'm getting these breast chopped down but whatever. 

Whats the point in having a dream, if you are never going to wake up to live it .... 





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