Dear Danny,
When do you think a man should be taken back in a relationship? My boyfriend of 2 years just told me about how you cheated on me with multiple women for the first year of our relationship. As he puts it "he has grown so much since then and he had to get the truth off he's chest". This I found out was a lie because I got a Facebook message from one of the girls telling me that he had a 3 month old son. When I confronted him about it, after taking he's lying ass back in, he told me he went and got a DNA test and the baby isn't he's. Which only pisses me off even more because you are out here having unprotected sex with these women and we keep it wrapped up tight over here because of my trust issues. My friends are telling me to give him another chance since it was over a year ago and he told me instead of me finding out but I really want to say fuck him. We do not live together so it's not like I have to split up shit between us. I want to go to bed at night and not worry about who this man is sleeping with next.
Thanks La'Shaun
Dear La'Shaun,
What up Shawty La. That's your new name, Shawty La. Where do we start? First you must commend him on he's honestly. Him telling you before you found out in these streets, is a big step for anyone; esp someone who cheated. Now saying all of that, that doesn't mean that you have to forget, or let that shit slide. Don't listen to your friends. They just like your boyfriend and probably feel like " oh at least he admitted it. You can take him back." But if it happened to them, would they be saying the same thing? The real question is, how do you feel about the situation and him? Now you should be angry and you have the right to be angry and that's the only logical reaction to what has happened. Like I've said before trust is something that is earned, and not given. When you say you don't want to go to sleep at night worrying about trusting him, your feeling are valid. He has lost his available credit in trust. Let me explain.
Let's say trust is a credit rating right now. He had a 780. He missed a few payments, maxed out he's credit cards, and applied for too many loans. Now he's credit is a 580. Damn shit changes so drastically and so fast. Now you can't expect to just go into the bank, car dealership, or American Express and think they are going to just ignore the negative things that hit your credit report and give you some new credit. They're going to make you build up your credit score and regain their trust as a financial institution. YOU ARE that institution. He just can't get new trust.
Here are your options. You can forgive him. Stay with him and try to work out your trust issues. You'll still have the trust issues, and probably still be very angry for a while. This is normal and if you feel like you really want to be with him this is the price you are going to have to pay. But if you don't want to be with him. If you feel like " I have had enough of this mutha fucka cheating even though you just found out he was cheating" ... you say to yourself .. " I ain't got time for this, I got better things to do in my life " . Or you just feel like your not as in love as you think you should be and don't want to deal with it anymore. THEN it's time tohit that kcamp cut that bih off. Your going to have to determine what you really want to do. I can't tell you what to do, your friends can't tell you what to do, and he damn sho' can't tell you what to do. But I can tell you this ... by the feeling that I get from your letter ... and the aggressive nature of the tone I sense .... that you really ain't feeling this. Now that could be the anger talking. So maybe you guys should separate, you don't live together .. and give yourself a little time to think. Time is always the best answer in these situations. You'll know what's the best thing to do.
If it's meant to be, it'll be .. Make sure he earns your trust back AND he shows by HIS ACTIONS .. that THIS is where he REALLY wants to be.
- Danny
PS : Question : Do you think he told you because he really wanted to get it off he's chest or do you think that bitch threatened to tell you and he told you as a preemptive strike? And girl I almost forgot . How Dare he be out here sleeping around with no protection. Dirty -low -down scoundrel! Just a little food for thought. Give me an update, let me know what goes down. Holla at me if you need a man, I always got a couple homeboys. LOL Now GET TO STEPPIN'
When do you think a man should be taken back in a relationship? My boyfriend of 2 years just told me about how you cheated on me with multiple women for the first year of our relationship. As he puts it "he has grown so much since then and he had to get the truth off he's chest". This I found out was a lie because I got a Facebook message from one of the girls telling me that he had a 3 month old son. When I confronted him about it, after taking he's lying ass back in, he told me he went and got a DNA test and the baby isn't he's. Which only pisses me off even more because you are out here having unprotected sex with these women and we keep it wrapped up tight over here because of my trust issues. My friends are telling me to give him another chance since it was over a year ago and he told me instead of me finding out but I really want to say fuck him. We do not live together so it's not like I have to split up shit between us. I want to go to bed at night and not worry about who this man is sleeping with next.
Thanks La'Shaun
Dear La'Shaun,
What up Shawty La. That's your new name, Shawty La. Where do we start? First you must commend him on he's honestly. Him telling you before you found out in these streets, is a big step for anyone; esp someone who cheated. Now saying all of that, that doesn't mean that you have to forget, or let that shit slide. Don't listen to your friends. They just like your boyfriend and probably feel like " oh at least he admitted it. You can take him back." But if it happened to them, would they be saying the same thing? The real question is, how do you feel about the situation and him? Now you should be angry and you have the right to be angry and that's the only logical reaction to what has happened. Like I've said before trust is something that is earned, and not given. When you say you don't want to go to sleep at night worrying about trusting him, your feeling are valid. He has lost his available credit in trust. Let me explain.
Let's say trust is a credit rating right now. He had a 780. He missed a few payments, maxed out he's credit cards, and applied for too many loans. Now he's credit is a 580. Damn shit changes so drastically and so fast. Now you can't expect to just go into the bank, car dealership, or American Express and think they are going to just ignore the negative things that hit your credit report and give you some new credit. They're going to make you build up your credit score and regain their trust as a financial institution. YOU ARE that institution. He just can't get new trust.
Here are your options. You can forgive him. Stay with him and try to work out your trust issues. You'll still have the trust issues, and probably still be very angry for a while. This is normal and if you feel like you really want to be with him this is the price you are going to have to pay. But if you don't want to be with him. If you feel like " I have had enough of this mutha fucka cheating even though you just found out he was cheating" ... you say to yourself .. " I ain't got time for this, I got better things to do in my life " . Or you just feel like your not as in love as you think you should be and don't want to deal with it anymore. THEN it's time to
If it's meant to be, it'll be .. Make sure he earns your trust back AND he shows by HIS ACTIONS .. that THIS is where he REALLY wants to be.
- Danny
PS : Question : Do you think he told you because he really wanted to get it off he's chest or do you think that bitch threatened to tell you and he told you as a preemptive strike? And girl I almost forgot . How Dare he be out here sleeping around with no protection. Dirty -low -down scoundrel! Just a little food for thought. Give me an update, let me know what goes down. Holla at me if you need a man, I always got a couple homeboys. LOL Now GET TO STEPPIN'
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