Dear Can I Have My Face Back

I HATE when people stare at me and YOU MA'AM can't seem to get enough of my face. Now at first I thought, oh maybe it's just me. OH but no girl, it's you! I really would like my face back, I mean, God did give it to ME! If there is something that you need from me , don't ask, because the answer is no. Let's just run down a few things before I end this letter to you umkay?

1. I like men, so if that's the way your boat is rocking .... I hope you can swim, because I'll knock that thing over!
2. I do not want to be your friend. I have ENOUGH. Your weird and VERY ratchet. Plus your hairstyle reminds me of an upside down smashed cupcake.
3. If you think I'm stuck up and your judging me ...... I am and keep up the good work. :)
4. You wear your club clothes to work ..... I mean ... I just .... But maybe ..... DAH IDK!

Until next time,

Please tell me if something is hanging out of my nose since your all up in my face

Comments

Who's Cooking Nah?

Who started this cooking for your man is something that only wives do and not girlfriends? Do ya'll smoke crack? I'm convenience you early-mid 20 somethings smoke crack. I've seen a meme rolling around social media where the man says he wants to see his girl like this (she's cooking in underwear ... which leads to a whole 'notha story. Like I hope she not frying NATHAN!! Because baby bout to get burnt up trying to be cute.) and the girl replies "this is wife level package, you can upgrade your girlfriend package by buying a ring. He couldn't be me. STARVE THEN BIH! Listen .... follow me umkay? 1. NONE OF YA'LL (me included) makes enough money to eat at a restaurant everyday where the food is that damn bomb! Like you gone be eating Applebee's happy hour on the 4th day! AAANNDDDD ain't NOBODY trying to take yo bap ass out to eat EVERYDAY. Hoe I got bills to pay! Say it with me now ... I'mmmm oooonnnn aaaaaaa bbbuuuddddggggeeettt!!! ...

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If It Were You, Would You Be Proud

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Dear Mr. Elevator Man

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