Dear Danny,
I am 27 years old and have been married for 5 years. I know I was very young when I got married but I loved my husband very much. Three years into my marriage my husband had an outside child. I separated from my husband for a year and eventually went back. I now have a 1 year old son and I don't know if I want to continue to be with my husband. He says he hasn't stepped outside our marriage but anytime he isn't where he said he was, I instantly go to him cheating. His first child baby mother makes slick comments and he doesn't do anything to stop it. My mother told me that I only went back to my husband so that I could have a child by him. At this point everything he does pisses me off. I don't even want his other child to come over here anymore because it's a constant reminder. I know that is childish but hey, I'm telling my truth. Please help. Do you think we can work through this, or is it even worth it?
Tina
Dear Tina,
First thing first, no it's not worth it. Y'all can not work it out. Here are a few reasons why :
1. He's outside baby, not yo baby, is there ... for at LEAST the next 16 years. So if you can't stand the reminder now, you are not going to be able to get through this marriage.
2. If the baby mama acting a fool he is either still fucking her or he is letting her think it is ok for her to act a fool with you. Any real man would cut that shit SHORT, if he is trying to save your marriage. She can't be slick talking you, while you taking her baby out the car. Nah ... NEXT!!
3. Now you say y'all separated for a year. Ask yourself a question. How hard did he try to win you back? Because it doesn't seem like during this letter, you feel like he won you back fully. You have not expressed how he won you back. Let me know if I'm wrong nah! If he didn't fight hard enough to save his marriage, now that y'all are back together; he isn't going to fight hard enough to keep his marriage.
If he is willing to cheats on his wife he is NOT going raw the first time. He been cheating. Also you feelings aren't childish. That isn't your kid, you are of course going to feel a certain type of way. But the respect and strength you have as a mother allows you to love and car for this baby, even though you don't want to. AAANNNNDDD what do you mean he isn't where he said he was? Isn't that how he cheated in the first time? Where is he going that he can't tell you where he is going? Sounds like ya man is cheating. The biggest mistake people make is thinking they can save a marriage when they can't. Now sometimes marriages can be saved, and I'm not saying yours can't be .... BUT from what I've seen ... your between a rock and a hard place. Question is .. are you going to slide up out it?
- Danny
I am 27 years old and have been married for 5 years. I know I was very young when I got married but I loved my husband very much. Three years into my marriage my husband had an outside child. I separated from my husband for a year and eventually went back. I now have a 1 year old son and I don't know if I want to continue to be with my husband. He says he hasn't stepped outside our marriage but anytime he isn't where he said he was, I instantly go to him cheating. His first child baby mother makes slick comments and he doesn't do anything to stop it. My mother told me that I only went back to my husband so that I could have a child by him. At this point everything he does pisses me off. I don't even want his other child to come over here anymore because it's a constant reminder. I know that is childish but hey, I'm telling my truth. Please help. Do you think we can work through this, or is it even worth it?
Tina
Dear Tina,
First thing first, no it's not worth it. Y'all can not work it out. Here are a few reasons why :
1. He's outside baby, not yo baby, is there ... for at LEAST the next 16 years. So if you can't stand the reminder now, you are not going to be able to get through this marriage.
2. If the baby mama acting a fool he is either still fucking her or he is letting her think it is ok for her to act a fool with you. Any real man would cut that shit SHORT, if he is trying to save your marriage. She can't be slick talking you, while you taking her baby out the car. Nah ... NEXT!!
3. Now you say y'all separated for a year. Ask yourself a question. How hard did he try to win you back? Because it doesn't seem like during this letter, you feel like he won you back fully. You have not expressed how he won you back. Let me know if I'm wrong nah! If he didn't fight hard enough to save his marriage, now that y'all are back together; he isn't going to fight hard enough to keep his marriage.
If he is willing to cheats on his wife he is NOT going raw the first time. He been cheating. Also you feelings aren't childish. That isn't your kid, you are of course going to feel a certain type of way. But the respect and strength you have as a mother allows you to love and car for this baby, even though you don't want to. AAANNNNDDD what do you mean he isn't where he said he was? Isn't that how he cheated in the first time? Where is he going that he can't tell you where he is going? Sounds like ya man is cheating. The biggest mistake people make is thinking they can save a marriage when they can't. Now sometimes marriages can be saved, and I'm not saying yours can't be .... BUT from what I've seen ... your between a rock and a hard place. Question is .. are you going to slide up out it?
- Danny
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